Watch Out for the Fine Print

The old clich© is more true than ever: If it sounds too good to be true, it isn't. The more I watch TV, the more I realize how viewers are deceived by claims of free, or half-price, or such a huge percentage off. But, there is always a few lines of fine, fine print that flash by so quickly it is impossible to read the disclaimers.

Here are some of the worsts I have found. To begin, all those commercials offering stuff you absolutely feel you have to have, and there is always a decent price, and then the screen blasts out: BUT WAIT! The announcer tells you if you call right now they'll include a second item ABSOLUTELY FREE. Except it isn't fee. "All you have to do is pay separate shipping and handling." So, instead of getting two items for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling for the first, you're paying almost twice that advertised price. In fact, all the supposed bargains are encumbered by outrageous shipping and handling charges that are spelled out in print only a magnifying glass can reveal.

I don't know of anyone who has ever won ANYTHING from Publisher's Clearing House, but the way they advertise, a lot of naive people still feel you have to buy something to qualify for those $5,000 a week for life. I've read sad stories of senior citizens who literally spent hundreds of dollars ordering magazines they probably never read, even though, in fine fine print, PCH tells you purchases will not increase your chances of winning.

Then there are the commercials for that floor covering company that shows a couple bragging about how they paid for one room and got two other rooms free. But, try and read the fine print that really doesn't make ANYTHING free.

There are scores of mattress ads on TV and in the print media. Has anyone you know ever bought a mattress at retail? What IS retail. What does $200 off really mean, if anything? And, those offers of getting a mattress free if the store's price isn't the lowest- can you name anyone, friend, neighbor- anyone who has ever gotten a free mattress?

I don't know of anyone who has ever won ANYTHING from Publisher's Clearing House, but the way they advertise, a lot of naive people still feel you have to buy something to qualify for those $5,000 a week for life. I've read sad stories of senior citizens who literally spent hundreds of dollars ordering magazines they probably never read, even though, in fine fine print, PCH tells you purchases will not increase your chances of winning.

Then there are the commercials for that floor covering company that shows a couple bragging about how they paid for one room and got two other rooms free. But, try and read the fine print that really doesn't make ANYTHING free.

Do you know anyone who has bought a mattress at retail price? For that matter, do you know anyone who has ever received a free mattress because he found a store selling the same mattress for less? The key, of course, is product designation or numbers for the products; no two of them are alike, so no customer can match price for a specific mattress.

Do you really think a jewelry store is losing money by offering up to 70% off retail price for diamonds? If you believe that, I have a bridge to Brooklyn for sale.

Want a "bargain" in oriental rugs? Just read the sorry advertising stories about all those Armenian-sounding names of stores forced to go out of business and selling their wares at up to 5 cents on the dollar. Yeah! Sure. Buy a "bargain" have it honestly appraised, and chew your nails!

I could write volumes about what the airlines are doing to separate you from your hard-earned money. You probably have more scary mishaps with luggage fees, delayed, promised upgrades not being honored and frequent flier miles disappearing as if by magic.

We need to face facts. Advertisers are not your friends. They don't want to give you stuff for next to nothing. They want to lure you into buying something you think is almost free or a real bargain. But all you're doing is adding to their bottom lines. "Buyer beware" takes on new meaning in these tough economic times. My advice, based on years of writing some of these deceptive ads, is- unless you absolutely need something (like food or clothing) save your money.