WATERBED MANIA

I remember when we first bought our waterbed, about fifty years ago. The salesman gave me all the positive arguments about why everyone in the world should own a waterbed. Especially someone with back problems.
The longer he talked the more convinced I was, but being "Scotch" I had to look around and think it over a few days before I finally went back to buy the bed.
Now, I'm wondering about all the things he didn't stress.
I was a little concerned about making the bed, so that when I climbed in, the sheets wouldn't pull off the corners. No problem,- Supersalesman said-you just push here, here, here and here, indicating the four corners. Well, that's fine if you are Tim Tebow! Super salesman also neglected to mention the fact that once the bed is in place, it is permanent.
One night I woke up about 3:00 a.m. feeling like a popcicle. Our room isn't heated and that cold winter night neither was the water in the bed. We had to drain all 200 gallons through a garden hose out the bedroom window just to remove the heater which is placed under the mattress. It took three more days to fill the mattress and reheat the water before we could sleep on the bed again.

Every six months or so it's necessary to pour a little bottle of treatment solution in the water. So after I had the plug out, ready to dump in the bottle of solution, my sweet little puppy dog Simon jumped on the bed.
I have finally learned after all this time, not to plan anything else on the day I want to change the sheets. The kids just stand back and watch me carefully put the sheets on, only to have each corner slowly slip back off as soon as I turn my back.

I'm glad I no longer sleep on a waterbed. We don't even own one. Do you remember them?