Waterworld: Classic-Movie Review

Waterworld (1995, Universal Pictures) is `classic'. But in kind of a perverted way. Set against any other classic movie - it loses. But it somehow rises to the top of the losers' bracket - back up to `classic'. The first thing we do at the beginning of every family vacation, even before we finish unpacking, is watch Waterworld. Not because it is inspirational, not because it is immensely humorous; not because it is scary, nor patriotic ... it is just ... well ... classic, in a perverted kind of way. It opens with Kevin Costner (Mariner) peeing into a jar, which he then pours into a filter, which delivers `it' back into a cup, and of which he very satisfyingly drinks, except for the very last bit which he gives to his (precious) little lime plant. Costner is a mutant; he has gills and webbed toes; he can swim like a fish. He is well adapted to a world of water, as we learn, the entire earth has been covered with several hundred feet of it (water). No wonder it was a costly film.

Costner goes to trade at an `atoll' (constructed island of habitation isolated in the world of water). He has precious `durt' (`pure dirt, 4.2 kilos'), which he obtained swimming deep, worth as much as `pure hyrdo'. When he refuses a proposition to provide `outside genes' for the isolated people living there, they are suspect. A fight ensues, and he is sentenced to be `recycled' (drowned in a pool of refuse previously recycled inhabitants). Recycling humans is the closest they can get to real dirt. He is only saved in the mayhem of an attack by the Smokers (sea-roaming bandits).

Waterworld is `Classic', as the Smokers use a Quad-50 (four-barrel 50 caliber machine gun) to obliterate the atoll. Waterworld is `classic' as, of course, Costner escapes. Waterworld is classic, as Costner refuses romantic advances until he `knows she means it'. And Waterworld is classic, as at the end Costner choses the solitude of the open sea over settling down with the ones he has rescued. Waterworld is classic with Dennis Hopper as the `Deacon'. In the battle for the atoll he loses an eye, and will then "keep an eye out for that ... freak." Waterworld is altogether classic in that the Smokers have jet-skis, water ski behind a rusted single engine plane, shoot spear guns, and ram the atoll with a kamikaze (explosive laden) speed boat. It's classic (and somewhat disgusting) that Deacon Hopper seduces a whole oil tanker of followers to keep rowing (blindly) for him on the shallow promise of `Dryland', the myth, that turns out true, that there is actually dry land out there somewhere.

Costner's tri-hull sail boat is awesome. Helen (Jeanne Tripplehorn, the woman he rescues) shoots a Smoker plane with a spear gun and gets the line tangled in the ship's mast, causing the plane to fly in circles around the boat; it's cool. Oh, and the spear also went through the gunner on the plane shooting at them - like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark. And one of the coolest parts is when Mariner drops a torch down into the hold of the ship - full of oil. A big fireball ensues, obviously. Costner, physically, is lookin' real good! The movie has some slow parts ... the lulls of being out on the ocean between the exciting parts. And the bad romance. The part on Dryland, once they finally get there, doesn't seem to quite fit. But, remember, it's classic in the losers', bracket. I love it. We watch it as a family favorite; I guess we love it for it's bad-ness. Waterworld is `classic' to be sure.

Waterworld (DVD) is rated PG-13 and may be purchased at,

www.CDuniverse.com

www.amazon.com

www.familyvideo.com

www.BarnesandNoble.com

One more thing: though I could not find him listed in the cast, I am certain Jean Reno is on the atoll; he's the first one to see the Smokers.

Resources

Waterworld, Directed by Kevin Reynolds, Universal Pictures, 1995.

www.imdb.com.