Blood-related brothers and sisters can have problems getting along. This is natural. Remove the blood from the scenario and add prior marriages and stepparents into the mix and it can become an absolute nightmare. Parents become defensive - even if their angel child is not a little cherub by any definition of the word. The kid might be an arrogant little monster, but parents take offense and naturally defend their own. At this point the blended family becomes more than just blended. When disagreements and problems arise they become pulverized in the non-literal sense of the word. Small rifts can turn into huge gaps. It is important to bring everyone closer together before the family literally falls apart. Read on for ways to bring stepbrothers and stepsisters closer together, and find positive solutions for negative issues. It can work if enemy lines are erased and if the adults make a mature and conscious decision that everyone is going to get along.
Do Not Take Sides
When trying to bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together, do not take sides - at least not until discovering all of the facts. If stepbrothers and sisters are arguing or obviously not getting along, call all of them out. Do not assume that one child is any guiltier than the other, and be sure to do this with the other parent present. No matter the circumstances it takes two to disagree, and every story has at least two sides. Separate stepbrothers and sisters if it is impossible to determine who is telling the truth and who is mostly at fault, and take away the source of the disturbance. Having something in common often brings people closer together, especially stepbrothers and sisters that are temporarily separated as a punishment.
Include Stepbrothers and Sisters in Family Games and Activities
Bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together by hosting family games and activities. Some kids misbehave when they feel ignored, and this is a way to make everyone feel included. Stress the fact that winning is not the ultimate goal when trying to bring them closer together. The goal of family games and activities is having fun, and if it becomes too competitive and causes more problems, do something else instead. Arguing and fighting will not bring anyone closer together, and it will not be fun for anyone. A family movie night might be the better option when stepbrothers and/or stepsisters are sore losers. This leaves no room for fighting and arguing, especially if an adult chooses the title.
Solutions for Stepbrothers and Sisters
These are just some of the many ways to bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together. Be sure to give everyone in the home a private space that is off-limits to everyone else. Everyone needs a getaway now and then, and kids are no exception. Also, do not insist that stepbrothers and sisters share absolutely everything they own when trying to bring them closer together. Everyone should have personal items that others are not allowed to touch, especially if the items are not considered toys or if they are fragile and/or not age-appropriate.
Do Not Stir the Pot of Problems
Most of all, do not stir the proverbial pot of problems with the parent of a stepchild. It is obvious when someone is trying to create problems and hard feelings by emphasizing the negative, and a parent that does this to a stepchild is just as bad as a parent that defends their kid at all costs. This will not bring anyone closer. Sometimes the cost is the entire relationship. A blended family with these types of issues will never stay together, and if they do - the arguments, days of silence and uncomfortable moments will be emotionally exhausting.
Do Not Take Sides
When trying to bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together, do not take sides - at least not until discovering all of the facts. If stepbrothers and sisters are arguing or obviously not getting along, call all of them out. Do not assume that one child is any guiltier than the other, and be sure to do this with the other parent present. No matter the circumstances it takes two to disagree, and every story has at least two sides. Separate stepbrothers and sisters if it is impossible to determine who is telling the truth and who is mostly at fault, and take away the source of the disturbance. Having something in common often brings people closer together, especially stepbrothers and sisters that are temporarily separated as a punishment.
Include Stepbrothers and Sisters in Family Games and Activities
Bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together by hosting family games and activities. Some kids misbehave when they feel ignored, and this is a way to make everyone feel included. Stress the fact that winning is not the ultimate goal when trying to bring them closer together. The goal of family games and activities is having fun, and if it becomes too competitive and causes more problems, do something else instead. Arguing and fighting will not bring anyone closer together, and it will not be fun for anyone. A family movie night might be the better option when stepbrothers and/or stepsisters are sore losers. This leaves no room for fighting and arguing, especially if an adult chooses the title.
Solutions for Stepbrothers and Sisters
These are just some of the many ways to bring stepbrothers and sisters closer together. Be sure to give everyone in the home a private space that is off-limits to everyone else. Everyone needs a getaway now and then, and kids are no exception. Also, do not insist that stepbrothers and sisters share absolutely everything they own when trying to bring them closer together. Everyone should have personal items that others are not allowed to touch, especially if the items are not considered toys or if they are fragile and/or not age-appropriate.
Do Not Stir the Pot of Problems
Most of all, do not stir the proverbial pot of problems with the parent of a stepchild. It is obvious when someone is trying to create problems and hard feelings by emphasizing the negative, and a parent that does this to a stepchild is just as bad as a parent that defends their kid at all costs. This will not bring anyone closer. Sometimes the cost is the entire relationship. A blended family with these types of issues will never stay together, and if they do - the arguments, days of silence and uncomfortable moments will be emotionally exhausting.
Published by Crystal Ray - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
Crystal Ray is an award-winning freelance writer and artist from the Chicago area. Her passion is interior design, but she also loves entertaining and crafting. She is continually developing unique and creat... View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentHi Kim,
Very informative piece
Thanks for sharing
Best
Phil