Ways to Control Your Temper

Man, I have a temper, and my husband does also. I am much better at controlling my temper than my husband is at controlling his. You can definitely see the difference in our physical well-being. My husband gets sick a lot more than I do.

I have spent a lot of time trying to learn to control my temper. I found ways that have helped and ways that didn't. There are not a lot of things that made me lose my temper. Usually I just get upset with my family. I can get very annoyed and short with them. I realized that was no way to raise my children or have a productive relationship with my husband. Of course I still get aggravated with my family but I have learned to control my temper enough that I am not considered the mom or wife from hell.

I can always tell when I'm about to freak out. My chest tightens and I feel out of control. I feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions that it will be only a matter of time before I break. That's when I start taking deep breathes and counting. I know this sounds pretty silly, but it really does work. Rather than focusing on whatever is driving me nuts, I focus on breathing and counting until I have calmed down. Once I have calmed down it's time to say what I need to say. If I just let it go it would build up along with other things, until my temper exploded. That wouldn't be good for anyone. Plus I don't want to be one of those women who bring stuff up from two years ago.

I really try to avoid situations that I know well test my temper. Going to my in-laws is a major temper test. Now I try to avoid going there as often as possible. When I do go over I know what my limitations are and have learned to walk away when I need to. I say my goodbyes and go home. This way I avoid hurting anyone's feelings and don't let my self get aggravated.

Whenever I notice my temper approaching the breaking point, I visualize things that I like and that help me relax. I think about the ocean or forest. I think about taking me dogs to the park. Sometimes I even just grab my iPod and listen to calm relaxing music. This helps me a lot.

Finally I just choose to control my temper and not be angry. After all being mad or lashing out is a choice so I can choose not to do those things.

My husband has a short temper, and tends to lose it over very small things. He allows things to pile up and pile up until the oddest little thing sets him off. Then he ends up getting sick to his stomach and feels miserable.

I hope with these tips you can learn to control your temper and just relax. If this isn't a constant possibility hopefully you can cut down on the amount of times you lose your temper.