Ways to Deal with Overbearing Grandparents

One of the biggest challenges many people face when they become new parents is dealing with their parents or in-laws. Grandparents feel like they have a stake in the well-being of a grandchild, and often parents are required to step up to the plate and set boundaries for their parents or in-laws. Here are three tips for dealing with your parents or his.

Be Firm and Respectful

The key to dealing with grandparents is to make sure they know that in terms of your child, you are the boss. You have to be firm in telling them, 'no', but you also have to remember that they are your parents or are old enough to be your parents so you want to be respectful in your firmness. It was challenging to put limits on my mother with my first child. My mom was used to running the show when it came to all things involving me even though I was 30, but I had to tell her to stop things that she was doing that made my life more difficult. For example, my mother loved holding babies, which was great for my daughter, but it was not great for me at 3 a.m. when she would not go to sleep because she was in her crib. I had to firmly tell my mother to leave my daughter sleeping where she was, and not to pick her up if she was asleep. My mother was not very happy with me, but we worked through it.

Have a United Front

You and your spouse have to have a united front when dealing with grandparents. If he will not tell his mother, 'no', you get stuck with all of the grief for being the one to do so. You have to reach common ground on what will and will not fly when in comes to your child, and then, both of you have to enforce the rules you set for others. If one or the other is undermining what the 'rules' are, this will make establishing yourselves as the parents more difficult.

Learn How to Say No

If you have been a people pleaser your entire life, being a parent is going to break you of that habit. Learning to say no to grandparents, doctors, friends, and random people on the street is going to be a difficult task, but you have to man-up and get used to it. Once you can say 'no' firmly without feeling guilty, being a parent will be a little easier.

Grandparents love their grandchildren and want to participate in their lives, but as a parent you have to set boundaries and make sure that the best interest of your child are being adhered to, so you have to learn how to say no, have a united front, and be firm, but respectful when dealing with your child's grandparents.