Ways of Dealing When Your Kids Wont Listen

Whether you have one child or many, they can make your life a living nightmare if you don't find the cause of the problem and lay down some rules for them to go by. Let's start by looking at what the problem isn't. The kids aren't misbehaveing because you are married, single, divorced or remarried. Despite what many so called experts tell you, most children develop their own ideas.

Trying to reason with children is pointless and comes from the theory that we, as parents, have let them down in some way. If you find yourself in a situation that may be upsetting for your child, explain it to them. Let your child know that you love them and really care about them, but never apologize for your family situation. Make sure that you explain any new or expected change to your family situation to your child or children as far in advance as possible. After all this helps them be better prepared for what is happening and it helps reassure them.

Most kids act out because parents knowingly or unknowingly place guilt on them. Why? Because kids aren't emotionally prepared or able to deal with guilt. Making children feel bad for no reason is a losing situation. That doesn't mean that they shouldn't be held responsible for bad acts. If your child does something that injures another, destroys or does damage to your home, endangers their own welfare or shows severe disrespect for an adult, there should be consequences. Those consequences should always include a specific punishment that lasts for a specific period of time.

The biggest need most kids have is for a portion of your time. Not giving it to them is a certain recipe for bad behavior. If you will not give them your time and attention, they will do something bad to get it. Once you allow some time for a child, see what interests them the most. Some children are readers, others like to draw and all like to play. When we are home, I make sure to involve my kids in everything I do. They were always welcome to come in and play while I worked. I encouraged my kids to answer the phone and help with household chores.

The greatest problem that parents face today is deciding how much they love their children. Sound strange? Loving your kids means having to give up a certain things in favor of raising happy and healthy individuals. I have met more then just a few parents who hand their kids a key to the house, order a pizza, throw them money left and right. Others move from relationship to relationship with absolutely no interest in how it may affect their children. Loving your kids doesn't mean having to give up everything, never going out or having no love life. But it does require that you provide them with as stable an environment as possible and take them into consideration when you make personal or family decisions.

If you have teens or pre-teens. Make sure your teen always feels welcome at home. Many teens run away or stay out until all hours because a parent creates a home life that is not comfortable for them. Move your teen into the circle of adults in the house by involving them more in your life. Invite them to watch TV with you, and attend events that you attend. Allow them to help you do more advanced chores or fix up jobs like painting the house or taking care of younger brothers and sisters. Teens need encouragement, but they also need something to do.

For most teens, Sports or a job can provide focus. It can also help them learn the value of a dollar and team work. This also teaches them responsibility. Which by the teen years they need to get a grasp on. Because they aren't far from adult hood. I give my oldest son the "responsibility" of doing some of the shopping. I tell him what we need and some money and he goes into the store and buy whats on my list. He has learned that you can only buy what you have the money for. By doing this he has became financially responsible. He now uses his money wisely and never buys more then he has money for.

No one said being a parent would be easy. And it only get harder as they get older. But with a little patience we can have responsible, well taught adults. After all thats a parents JOB.