Ways to Discuss Family Memories with a Mentally Ill Parent

Family memories can be easily forgotten if they are not preserved. However, trying to preserve the memories of a mentally ill parent can be a challenging task. Mental illness not only damages the way that a person views the present, but also how he or she views the past. By paying heed to four simple tips, you can help your parent to recover precious family memories even in the midst of mental illness.

Bring Memorabilia

A parent who has lost control of his mental faculties is not likely to respond to verbal suggestion. Bearing this fact in mind, a visitor should facilitate the communication process by bringing certain memorabilia that may cue the memory of his parent. Memorabilia may include photographs, videotapes, music, or even items of clothing. This memorabilia may or may not assist a person in recovering important family memories. Still, it is worth a try to bring such items, especially if they are easy to transport.

Be Understanding

Understanding is an important quality to express if your parent has become mentally ill. While you are certain to feel a wide variety of emotions in response to this illness, many of these emotions will not help you to bridge the gap between your parent and yourself. If you are patient and understanding, however, you may be able to relate in ways that you didn't think possible. In summary, don't be discouraged by the challenge posed by your parent's illness. Rather, help your parent to feel valued despite the fact that he may be feeling confused.

Recognize Archetypes

In dealing with a mentally ill parent, we must attempt to view ourselves through his eyes. He may or may not recognize us. Perhaps he will recognize us only as younger versions of ourselves. Maybe he will think of us as childhood friends, or maybe even mistake us for the medical attendants of the hospital where he is staying. In order to draw something of benefit from your interactions with your parent, express an attitude of flexibility. If he wants to pigeonhole you into a role, don't argue with him. Rather, use the role as a way to communicate with him.

Record the Conversation

Some conversations that you will have with a mentally ill parent may not make sense as they are occurring. Thus, follow the practice of recording the conversations. You can always listen to the conversations later and sort out their meaning. Additionally, by recording these conversations, you may be able to share old family memories with loved ones who were not able to be present when the conversations were recorded. For example, if your father begins to tell stories of his youth, you will have them preserved on cassette for his posterity.