Ways that Military Spouses Can Be Supportive Once Their Spouse Retires from the Military

In a previous article we looked at how military spouses can be supportive prior to their spouse's retirement from the military. This article will offer advice on how to show support following military retirement.

Ways that Spouses Can Be Supportive Once Their Spouse Retires from the Military: Assign Specific Chores

Newly retired military members will be going through a whole host of emotions very soon after the excitement of the retirement ceremony quietens down. They may feel elated and free one minute, and missing the contribution they made to their job the next. But one thing is for certain and that is that newly retired military members will need to build a new structure in their lives after the very stringent structure of the military is removed.

Spouses can help by making a list of chores that need to be accomplished, such as shelves that need to be put up in the guest bedroom, re-finishing a piece of furniture or spending more time helping the children with their homework. Any new chore that needs to be done around the home can be assigned to the retired military member so that they have a new focal point while they make the transition to the civilian life. But before assigning chores, make sure that these are chores that your spouse would like to do.

Ways that Spouses Can Be Supportive Once Their Spouse Retires from the Military: Acknowledge Your Spouse's Sense of Loss

Retiring from the military is a lot like suffering from bereavement. The newly retired military member will need time to grieve for their career that has ended and to completely close the chapter on that period of their lives before they can move on from that. Spouses should not adopt a belittling attitude and bag their spouse for moping around the house and sleeping in until the afternoon. Such actions are often symptomatic of their loss, rather than laziness. Instead, they should try to understand how their spouse's life has changed and try to be sympathetic to how they must feel. Unless you have also been in the military yourself, you cannot fully appreciate the deep sense of loss that many new retirees feel, even if they could not wait to hang up their uniform for the last time.

Ways that Spouses Can Be Supportive Once Their Spouse Retires from the Military: Reassure Your Spouse of Your Love

It is important to continue to reassure your spouse of your love and support for them. Some newly retired military members, particularly men, feel as if they are not as useful to their family as they were when they were in the military. Spouses must show through their words and actions that this is simply not true.