Ways to Teach Your Children Manners

We all know the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would have done unto you", but why don't we live by it? I used to work in the school system and saw my share of kids that are disrespectful and have absolutely no matters whatsoever. Everyday, they'd find ways of being rude to friends and even their elders. It's time for parents to be parents and be involved in their kids' life and teach them some manners! Here are some ways to start to steer them in the right direction.

-When teaching your child to say "I'm sorry", you should also teach them to ask "Will you forgive me?" This helps them to be truly sorry and to make sure that they have wiped their slate clean, whether the person chooses to forgive or not.

-Love on your kids! It's so important to show your children affection! Give plenty of hugs, kisses, and say plenty of "I love you's". Kids need to feel and hear your love. For Mother's Day this year, my son gave me something he made at school that says, "The best thing about my Mommy is...." then he filled in "That she gives me hugs and kisses." That he remembers that at already appreciates it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

-Eat your dinners together! Don't do it in front of the television, either! Sit at the table and just talk! If you're not sure what to talk about, then put questions under each plate and have each person ask their question, then let everyone else say their answer to the question. For example, "What was the best part of today?" This is a great thing to do when you have family over!

-Make manners fun! Buy a funny figurine and put it next to a different person's plate each night at dinner. When someone is caught not using their manners (parents included), the figurine goes next to them! At the end of the meal, whoever has the figurine does the dishes! If your children are too young to do dishes, then have them help clear the table.

-Be an example! If you don't want your children to exhibit bad behaviors, then you need to be an example to them by not having them either! Don't do anything, I mean anything in front of your children that you wouldn't want them to do. Even if they don't do these things in front of you, they are more than likely doing them in front of others!

-Watch what they are watching! Many times on television, making fun of others or having bad manners gets laughs. Kids learn from that! Make sure that you explain to them things like, "I know that is funny on television, but in real life, you really needs to do this...." That way your child learns that behaviors on television are not reflecting what real life behaviors should be. Same goes for video games! Some games are unbelievable! Make sure you know what your child is playing. They have ratings for a reason!

-If you don't like the behaviors that some of your children's' friends have, then you should limit their time with them and make sure you're always around when the other child is. That way when your child's friend shows bad behavior, you can let them know that is not acceptable in your home or even with your child. If they continue to have this behavior, then you simply need to evaluate whether or not that child should be friends with yours.

-When you see your child doing a good behavior, make sure you let them know that you noticed it and give them praise! My son is potty training right now and every time he goes to the potty, I always say, "I am so proud of you!" If I don't say it, then he always comes to me and asks, "Mommy so proud?" It makes my heart melt to know that he recognizes that and needs to hear it.

-Don't give into bad behavior! Each time your child screams, cries, and whines and you give in, your child wins! They learn that behavior so easily. I know that it is just an easy fix to give in, but bite the bullet and take your child from the room and let them know that that behavior is not acceptable. Calmly let them know that if they do not stop, then they will be disciplined. If you're not at home during this behavior, take them into a restroom and make them calm down before you will go back out. If they still do not calm down, then you need to go home and discipline them.

-Discipline with love! After your child has been given discipline, they need to be reminded why they received discipline and that you will not accept that behavior. After that, you need to hug them and tell them you love them and you just want them to be a good child and grow into a respectful adult.

Always remember to remain calm with your child. It is not always easy. I will be the first to admit that I have a short fuse and can easily yell. It is something I've been working on and have seen the fruits of my labors! My son reacts less dramatically when I control my temper. When he started mirroring my behaviors, it made me realize just how much impact our relationships have on our kids! Always take a deep breath and count to ten. It will help you calm down a little. Just remember, you are the parent. Take control!