We Should Just Be Friends

Those were the words I kept repeating to myself over and over again. Three years after graduating high school-- and holding my breath through every tunnel wishing for a boyfriend-- I had finally given up...then I met Jay.

What started out as a simple meeting at the college library soon turned into near-daily meetings and occasional coffee dates.

I come from a very traditional Asian family where it is expected for me to marry a nice Asian boy who comes from a nice Asian family preferably with a small business. So I was in no position to even be thinking about falling for this non-Asian guy.

Not long after meeting, I discovered that he was newly divorced after four years of marriage and still transitioning back to being single. Knowing that neither of us was looking to be in a relationship helped take the pressure off of getting to know each other on a friendly level.

We were able to bond over my newfound love of writing and his dream of entering the physical therapy world. Even in the midst of the hustle and bustle of a college library during exam time, I still felt that only he and I existed in the undergraduate world.

The next semester included bonding over yoga sessions, A&P tests and frustrating course schedules but we always found time to meet up at the library.

I soon found myself unable to contain my excitement when I knew I'd see him after my yoga classes, but I kept assuring myself that we were only "friends."

The more we talked, the more we had in common. The more we laughed, the more I fell in love. The more we shared, the more we supported each others' dreams.

"We should just be friends," were the words I kept telling him. Sitting here now, I realize that the more I had fallen for Jay, the more I kept telling him those dreaded words. And soon after that, I realized that the person I was really trying to convince of our friendship was myself.

I had been denying my feelings for him and finding every excuse under the fluorescent library lights not to admit to my feelings for him.

It is only fitting that we shared our first kiss in the law section of the library and the rest, as some would say, is history.

We have now been together nearly three years and I have to admit that those few months early in our relationship are my most memorable. The innocence and excitement of meeting the love of my life is something I will never forget.

To this day, Jay still teases me by telling me that "we should just be friends."