We Have the Power

It is amazing how much power we each have. With very little effort we can ruin another person's day. Or, we have the ability to brighten and give hope. Neither costs us a dime, and the effort to accomplish either goal is about the same.

A kind word, encouragement, praise or even a carefully worded diplomatic critique can be uplifting, and will not leave behind the lingering residue of negativity, as does a rude and careless comment.

We can do it here on Associated Content, when we leave comments or contribute on the forum, and we can do it when we go to the grocery store or visit a restaurant. What amazes me, is that some people would rather bring misery than hope.

Yet, there are many who are oblivious to their behavior, and never consider how their actions or words might be negatively impacting another individual. Perhaps they are driven by ego, a need for authority, or just plain insensitivity.

A few weeks ago we went to lunch with a colleague. Normally he is flirty and friendly with the servers, and usually tips well. Yet, he has the ability to change his attitude instantaneously, and he doesn't seem to appreciate the impact his actions can have on others.

On this particular day, the waitress was young and new, and a bit nervous. Our family was in the restaurant business for four generations, and I have great empathy for servers who work with the unpredictable general public.

As we ordered our food, the colleague was overly friendly with the server, yet when he gave his order, he did not make his desire clear. Apparently he wanted one of the regular dishes prepared in a different fashion. Since most of the employees know him, they all know how he wants the dish prepared. Unfortunately, none of her fellow employees clued her in, and he seemed to feel she should automatically know, never taking into account the fact that she was a new employee.

When she brought him his meal, his chatty and friendly demeanor disappeared, and he rudely dismissed her, telling her to take the plate away, it wasn't what he wanted. I tried to lighten the situation, and I watched as she walked away, shaken, and tears brimming in her eyes.

He had absolutely no clue how his behavior affected her, yet I imagine he ruined her afternoon. I'll confess I scolded him, after seeking out the waitress, apologizing, and leaving her a big tip. Yet, I knew I could not repair the damage he'd done.

But, people do these things all the time. They talk harshly to a sales person, rudely to the server, or write an insensitive and hurtful comment on a forum.

Years ago my mother advised me to never use hurtful or angry words when speaking to my spouse. Never say something you can't take back, she would say. It's good advise, and perhaps it is applicable to all the people we encounter, in person and online.