We Who Are Schizophrenic

There is a certain amount of lethargy we who are schizophrenic undergo. It is not a matter of laziness, for we abase ourselves non-stop when we feel the effects of this form of negative symptom.

No matter how much we see the validity of performing a certain action or task (or any action or task for that matter), there is something in us that prevents us from doing more than lying down, smoking, vegetating in front of a television - in short we can't do anything productive, but everything involving doing nothing at all.

We who have gone through this know the sorrow we feel, the embarrassment before those who know us and even those who only see us from the outside. A certain level of self-worth goads us into seeking more than what we are doing but, alas, we are unable to do anymore.

The important thing in dealing with this negative symptom of lack of motivation is to do what we can. That is, we must take the moral responsibility upon ourselves of doing all that is within our power to do.

If we sit and smoke, if we just lay there, we must do something for our benefit. We may examine our conscience, prepare for temptations we know we will encounter. We may do the Jesus Prayer, or pray for others. It is not the labor itself, or the type of labor that matters to God, for He understands quite a bit more than we realize. However, making no effort on our part is inexcusable, and though we know He understands, we must be of the disposition that moral responsibility is our primary task.

If we do what we can, and have patience with ourselves as we try to do it, and fail to do it, and do it once more, grace will come to us and we will begin to act and to labor. Often times without even praying our actions themselves become a type of prayer, and God listens to this more than anything. We will more than likely fail even at these simple tasks, and fail more than once. But we are not perfect, nor should we expect ourselves to be perfect in only a day.

When we begin to leave this sort of negative symptom we will have to master our courage in the realm of doing whatever task we have to do. Fortunately as we have struggled the best we can (and we know from our conscience if we have) the grace that comes to us keeps us in a state of zeal to labor. Thus mastering our courage at this point is an easy task.

Let us show by our suffering, enduring, and patience in moral responsibility that we desire with all of our heart to be normal and healed. God is understanding, but let us not abuse His compassion and patience.

If we do, we will have no excuse at the day of judgment.