Weaning Your Baby

Breastfeeding is a very personal decision. There is a stigma in our society regarding both the decision of whether or not to breastfeed, and the decision of when or if you should wean. I say "if" you should wean because there are many who feel that a woman should not wean at all, but that the child should decide when the breastfeeding relationship ends. For the many women who enjoy breastfeeding their child, but do not want to do it for several years, a middle-ground must be found for when the right time is for weaning. Here are a few guidelines for making this transition:

1. Is your child at least twelve months old? The fact remains that breast milk is the best food for your baby. It is not simply "better" food than infant formula, but it is the food which babies were designed to digest. Breast milk meets your infant's needs completely and thoroughly. Until your baby is at least a year old, she should have the right to breastfeed because breast milk helps prepare her for a healthy life. Should you not have the right to fruits and vegetables and whole grains for your health? Make sure your baby has access to the same privileges which you have.

2. Is your baby emotionally attached to breastfeeding? All babies enjoy the breast. It is in this nurturing relationship that a baby can be held, cuddled and nourished directly from her mother. Some babies are tenaciously protective of mommy's breast while others enjoy nursing, but don't seem to initiate it on their own. If you have a baby who is "take it or leave it" in his approach to breastfeeding, you need not feel guilty about initiating the weaning process. This does not mean that if your baby is attached to breastfeeding that you cannot consider weaning him, rather, you need to allow more time and patience for a smooth transition.

3. Weaning, as with any developmental task, is a process. It takes planning, care and consistency. If you are ready to wean, take a look at your schedule. Which feedings would you like to phase out first? Most people like to reduce day time feedings and then gradually reduce until morning and evening or just evening feeds, until the child is weaned. Select one feed to phase out every three days or so. If your child comes to you desiring to be nursed, lovingly give her a healthy snack, or engage her in an activity. Distraction is key when you are trying to gently wean a child. Don't be afraid to tell your child "No, you cannot nurse right now." However, don't emphasize this idea and don't, under any circumstances, tell your child this harshly. Your child needs affirmation and security as he transitions out of breast comfort.

4. You must be flexible with the process. If your child is ill, for example, you should be willing to adapt your weaning time-table for his well-being. If you are in the midst of change within your family structure or environment, don't remove a source of stability from your child by denying him the breast.

It is not wrong for a woman to initiate the weaning process. Mothering is full of guilt-laden questions of "right" and "wrong". Follow your instincts. Only you know what is right and appropriate for your child. As long as you wean with a loving, gradual withdrawal, and are sensitive to your child's needs, you will be successful.