Wearing Your Hair Natural Rather Than Relaxed : The Disadvantages

I used hair relaxers the majority of my life but almost two years ago I decided to cut my relaxed hair in order to wear it natural. I haven't had any regrets since then and I've fallen in love with my natural hair texture. But because I've worn my hair both ways I do notice that there are some drawbacks to wearing my hair natural than there are to wearing it relaxed.

You Might Not Know What You're Doing at First

Since I had been wearing my hair relaxed for most of my life I had learned over the years exactly how to style it, what products to use, and how to take care of it.

But going natural didn't feel natural at first. It was like starting all over again. Because I was working with my texture instead of changing it I had to learn what new products to use, how to do new hair styles, and how to keep it healthy.

It took a lot of trial and error at first for me to realize what worked for me and what didn't and as a result I had a lot of bad hair days when my hair started to grow in.

Now I do have a routine that I follow so I have more good hair days. But as it gets longer I do still have to learn new styles that suit it. So wearing my hair natural has definitely been a learning process.

Being Natural Can Be More Time Consuming than a Relaxer

When I wore a relaxer straightening my hair took a few hours once a week. But if I didn't feel like doing that I could just throw it into a ponytail or bun. Now that I don't have a relaxer I don't have that luxury anymore.

If my hair was straightened it would be long enough to throw into a ponytail by now, but my texture is really thick and kinky so it shrinks up so much that I can't get it into one large puff yet.

If I wanted a quick style I suppose I could just wash my hair then add a little product and allow it to air-dry but I hate wearing my hair that way. I like to wear my hair either in twists, twist-outs, and Bantu knots and styling my hair these ways takes a lot of time.

It's not because doing these styles are so difficult, but because my hair takes so much time to comb and detangle. Natural hair can be such a pain in the butt since it shrinks so much and the curls twist and turn all around each other. Back when I relaxed my hair took only a few minutes to comb through, now my natural hair can take up to an hour.

Also I've found that if I do my hair perfectly one day, it can look totally different the next day after I've slept on it. It can get flattened out or it can shrink back up again, if I sweated during the night.

I'll try to maintain it the best way I can by wearing a headscarf at night but it still happens, so I had to learn to just go with the flow and like whatever I wake up to.

There Will be Haters

Besides all of the time it takes to care for my hair my biggest issue with wearing my hair natural is the way society can view it. I've mainly gotten positive reactions with my hair but it's usually been from people outside of my race.

The few negative comments I've received about my hair has been from black people, and even from members of own family. A lot of black women relax their hair because we've been taught to consider our natural hair to be "nappy" and unattractive. I was raised to believe the same thing, but now that I have a whole new mindset it sucks sometimes to know that not everyone feels the same way.

I've had my hair criticized and laughed at simply because it hasn't been relaxed straight. Some people have looked at me strangely because I'm accepting and wearing my hair the way that it grows out of my scalp instead of trying to chemically change it into something it's not.

And I just find it annoying and crazy that these people look at me like I'm crazy because I'm choosing to accept the hair that I was born with, when they'd rather me be ashamed..

The negative feedback has been few and far between, but the thing that's worse is that sometimes I just feel ignored. When I had relaxed hair I could turn plenty a head, and now I don't get as much attention from the guys in my race as much as I used to.

Sometimes it's a good thing and sometimes I feel like it isn't depending on the guy, but I just feel like I'm not viewed as desirable anymore or that I've been labeled by them. Like all I do is burn incense all day, write poems, and listen to India Arie, when that's not me at all. I am not my hair, but some people can't see past it.

In The End...

The benefits to being natural far outweigh the downsides to it for me. I really love my hair even if it's a pain to do. The hardest part of the whole process is not caring about what people will think about it.

As long as you love yourself and your hair and project confidence, it won't even matter whether people love it or hate it. When I was considering going natural I was afraid of what people would think, but now I really don't care because I love my hair and I wouldn't go back to hair relaxers again.