Wedding Belle: Trials and Tribulations of an Unexpected Bride

The dream is upon us, girls. You know the one where you have fantasized about every painstaking detail about your wedding day from the guest list to the flowers. Well, almost everything. The one big part, actually the biggest, is not in the picture just yet. That's right, ladies, the groom. He's nowhere to be found, except as a blob waiting for a face to be transplanted onto his body. It's a clichéd fantasy to have, but every girl at some point has pictured their wedding.

My personal dream wedding entails me skipping down the aisle in a cloud like substance covering me from all outside interference as I make my way down the aisle in a white angelic Versace dress with a ten foot train. In real life, I would not be caught dead in a train like that. Imagine the embarrassment or nightmare of tripping on it in front of everyone. Not for me at all. As I have gotten older, my wedding fantasies have scaled down considerably. Unlike me, I know only two types of people: the ones who dream too big and the ones who don't dream at all. This time I'm focusing on a late romantic bloomer who did not respond to romantic stimulation, until the right bee came along. Sometimes though, romance can bring out the worst in someone, like in the case of my sister.

The only girl I know who is not an open romantic is my sister Rowena, Ro for short. She is not one to fall in love with anything whimsical. A complete intellectual from start to finish. She's a scientist at Cornell, and plays that image to the hilt: Buddy Holly specs, Rapunzel hair wrapped in a bun like a hornet's nest, etc. Ro always talks like an intellectual too when she's not working. Fair warning to the wise, once you get my older sister on a tangent about anything. You will never be able to understand a word she says. I never do. Her nostrils flair up and she talks at 95 mph. The only person that can understand and tolerate Ro's eccentricities is her fiancé Carl.

He is the one man who has seen everything of Ro and still loves her anyway. Carl is not afraid of her every expanding mind and its ability to absorb material like a Venus Flytrap. Most men would have headed for the hills after the first date with Ro. She is a nervous speed talker and chews with her mouth open. Thankfully, Carl taught Ro how to slow down and chew with her mouth closed. She taught him how enjoy crossword puzzles and Jeopardy.

When it came time to propose to Ro, Carl took her up in a hot air balloon, but instead of coming down as a happy engaged couple, they came as something else. It was now Carl and the Bridezilla formerly known as Ro. She became a woman possessed with having the perfect wedding and sparing no expense. Instead of talking fast, Ro honed her skills of conveying her thoughts from other floors in our parent's house. Her screams could make walls vibrate, glass shatter, and doors fall off their hinges. Ro's incessant planning of every nook and cranny of her English muffin wedding got so tedious the wedding planner had a nervous breakdown and quit. The pressure of having to take care of 500 guests almost tore the family apart: emotionally and financially. Surprisingly, the battle between Bridezilla and her family soon came to a screeching climax.

A week before the wedding, the groom and bride decided to elope to the Bahamas. It turns out that they did not enojoy planning the big wedding and wanted something more personal that better suited their personalities. But, they were open to having a big reception to celebrate with their family upon their return.

Of course, my parents were a combination of relieved and annoyed, because they spent so much of their money for a wedding not happening. That's what happens when good brides go bonkers, I guess. They get caught up in the moment of planning their future and get overtaken by the stress of it all. Snapping at anything and anyone that contradicts their "vision."

Sometimes, as Ro learned, it is best not to have a long term vision when planning a wedding. Brides need to allow the room for improvisation and a little humor. The day is supposed to be a happy one, with a few tears of joy and nothing else. After all, it's only a day. Tomorrow is a much more daunting day: a future with limitless possibilities. Maybe, even a trip down the aisle in my future. Not yet though. I'm only 23 after all.