Wedding Customs Today and Yesteryear; Not Always Born of Romance

Ever wonder why the groom is supposed to carry his bride over the threshold the first time they enter their home? Well brace yourself ladies, the answer is not a romantic one. According to the Web site, OurMarriage.com, it seems that during the days of "marriage by capture," the bride did not always go blissfully into the groom's home. Many times the betrothed bride had to be carried (or dragged) over the threshold. The Web site also reported that in some cultures the woman was believed to be followed by the family's demons and to keep these demons from following her into the groom's home, she was carried over the threshold that first time.

Along these same archaic lines is the origin of the honeymoon. In ancient times, OurMarriage.com states that when a man decided to take a wife, he did. The groom, if of means, would then take his unwilling wife to a secret place where she could not be found by family and friends. It is said they would stay through all phases of the moon, (about 30 days) and would drink a brew made of honey. Therefore the term, "honeymoon."

A common, worldwide thread in wedding ceremonies throughout the ages has been the presence of fresh flowers. It seems to have been forgotten that orange blossoms are recognized all over the world as "the wedding flower." OurMarriage.com explained that orange blossoms were "chosen by the Spaniards to represent happiness and fulfillment" because the tree flowers and bears fruit at the same time. Flowers stand for emotions and values for example, the rose means love and lilies stand for virtue, etc. Today the wedding bouquet is chosen to fit the wedding's color scheme and to bring color, elegance and an old world tradition to the ceremony. Many brides today will dry flowers from their bouquet so that they may "live" on in arrangements throughout their house.

To happiness and many children . . . Do these words spoken by the best man in the toast sound familiar? The wedding toast is also an old custom dating back to the 16th century, reports wedding-customs.com. Back then a small chunk of bread was put into the wine glass, the glass filled with champagne and then sent around the tables for each guest to sip. The glass would stop at the wedding couple, who would be honored by the best man and would then eat the moist chunk of bread. Today, there is usually a toast by the best man at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding reception, minus the chunk of wet bread.

The wedding cake, yet another wedding staple, appeared as a meter of popularity in earlier times. The Web site, WeddingsGalore.com, states that in Europe wedding guests brought layers of cake to the reception so the more layers, the more guests and the more popular the couple. The layers were filled with applesauce and stacked on top of one another.

The tradition of the couple cutting the cake together began in Greece when it was thought that this would ensure a fruitful marriage. In the 1800's, wedding cakes were fruitcakes (can you imagine?) because it was before baking powder and baking soda. This tradition was brought to the U.S. with the English Pilgrims. The cake is said to be the symbol of fertility and abundance. In the present day, many wedding couples freeze the top layer of their cake to enjoy on their first anniversary.

It is also customary for the bride to stand to the left of her groom and there is a reason for that. Long ago the bride was placed in this position so that the groom would have his right hand and sword free to defend his new bride and himself from attacking rivals for her affections.

After the wedded couple leaves the church the rice throwing begins, but why? It is believed to be a way of wishing the happy couple many children. Today, many churches request that the guests throw bird seed or ring bells since the rice was found to be harmful to birds.

Even today traditional brides follow that age-old bridal poem, "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a lucky sixpence in your shoe." The "something borrowed" came from the idea that if the bride was lent something from a happily married woman her happiness would be passed to the bride. "Something blue" symbolizes constancy in a relationship. The sixpence was a tradition in England during the 17th century as a part of the dowry gift to the groom. Today, a coin is worn in the bride's left shoe on her wedding day as a sign of good luck.
For more information on wedding traditions look for the book, The Evolution of Wedding Traditions & Customs.