Wedding Invitations: How to Make a Guest List for Your Wedding

The date is set - you're going to get married. Yes, you are going to have a wedding, and of course you want those closest to you to attend, but you can't invite just anyone and everyone to your wedding. Of course, there's probably a budget and space constraints to take into consideration, and then you need to consider the type of wedding you want to have before you plan your guest list and start inviting everyone you know to your wedding.

First, you and your fiancé need to sit down and talk about the type of wedding you want to have. Do you want a small house wedding, an intimate outdoor wedding, or a big church wedding? The number of people you can accommodate on your guest list will be determined by the size of your wedding and your wedding party.

The next thing to consider could be your reception too, because you can actually invite some people to just the reception and some people to the wedding and the reception. So essentially, you now have two potential guest lists to create for your wedding and your wedding reception.

After you've done these things, and you have a better idea of how many people you can invite, you should be able to begin creating your wedding invitation guest list.

At the top of your wedding guest list should be anybody you and your fiancé simply cannot image your wedding without. This will, of course, include your maid/matron of honor, bridesmaids, best man, ushers, and anyone else who will be a member of your wedding party.

The next on the list will probably be close family members, such as your mother and father, future mother in law and father in law, siblings, future siblings in law, and any other close family members who you and your fiancé want to attend.

Now you have your wedding party, your essential guests, and close family, and you should be able to do a head count to see where you stand. It might even be a good idea to get this essential list of wedding guests out of the way before you make a firm decision on the location of the wedding, because your essential list will tell you how many people simply must be at your wedding, and then you can create the rest of the guest list based on how much space you will have left for other guests at the location you and your fiancé choose for your wedding and your reception.

If you and your fiancé are paying for your own wedding, then you will know your budget as well, and you can also take that into consideration when deciding how many people you will add to your wedding guest list. If someone else, like your parents, are paying for the wedding, then you want to take their budget into consideration when you decide the total number of guests at the wedding.

After you have an idea of how many people you can invite on your wedding guest list, and you have the essential invites out of the way, you and your fiancé can then split the number of remaining invites up and sit down and decide together who you want to add to your guest list to fill the remaining spots. This might be a good time to discuss who each of you absolutely do not want to come to your wedding too.

No matter how close you or your fiancé may be to ex boyfriends or girlfriends or ex wives or ex husbands, it is not the best form to invite them to your wedding. If you are close to them, perhaps inviting them to a reception is a nice gesture, but be respectful of your fiancé's feelings, and consider skipping inviting the ex.

Next, you should write out your guest list - his and hers - and list each name, and begin compiling the contact information for each guest, such as address and phone number. Once the list is created, it is important to know that not all of your wedding guest list members will be able to attend your wedding, for various reasons.

That's why it is a good idea to call each of your potential wedding guest and offer them an informal invitation and see if they are going to be able to attend. This is a good time to confirm addresses to mail the official invitations as well, and it will save you money in mailing out invitations to people you know will not be able to attend.

Once you have confirmed or scratched off people from your official guest list, you can now begin addressing invitations to send out to officially invite those you want to attend.

One common question about wedding invitations is to wonder whether or not you should send an invitation to those who have confirmed they are unable to attend. Etiquette says you should not send an invitation to anyone who has confirmed they cannot attend your wedding. The reason for this is so no one feels pressured to send you a wedding gift to a wedding they will not be at.

Additionally, you may want to announce your marriage to others whom you were not able to invite to the wedding. One way of doing this would be to send out Wedding Announcements within a few days or a week of the actual wedding. This will announce your wedding after it is over, so you do not have to worry about uninvited guests, as well as letting everyone know without any pressure of sending a gift. Many will send a gift anyway, but at least then it is their choice, and not something they feel obligated to do.

Lastly, the one thing you need to keep in mind when creating your guest list is any last minute or unexpected changes. One of your guests may not be able to attend, or one of your guests you invited might end up bringing a guest of their own who was not invited. Even if you ask people to RSVP, there is no guarantee everyone who has confirmed will show or that only the people on your wedding list will attend.

Weddings are froth with potential disaster, and the only way to avoid the stress is to be flexible and try to prepare for the unexpected. Don't worry excessively over empty chairs and be sure to have a few extra settings or seats available in case someone uninvited does show up, and you should have no problem accommodating the guest list and any stragglers who might wander into the wedding.

You and your fiancé might want to designate a member of your family or wedding party to oversee any potential issues such as extra guests at your wedding, so that the two of you can focus on the task at hand - vowing your love and commitment to each other on this, your very special day - your Wedding Day.