Wedding Party, Going Against Tradition

Every bride wants her wedding day to turn out just perfect. She meticulously plans out every moment of her big day. Some of the decisions are easy enough, but some can be more difficult, creating a lot of stress.

One of the hardest jobs for a bride-to-be is not in choosing a wedding gown for her big day (a woman will always know when her eye catches the perfect dress), the hall or the flowers, but in choosing whom to bestow the "honor" of maid of honor to. It can be such a dilemma that it may even cause a lot of anxiety for her. Most women do have more than one really close girl friend so the decision can be agonizing. She may be torn in different directions, not wanting to hurt the feelings of one or the other.

However, no wedding has to follow any set pattern or tradition. Each wedding is, and should be, a very unique experience and designed to the tastes and preferences of the bride and groom. Although traditional weddings have their place and can be an excellent guideline to follow, as not to add any extra burden onto a couple during the planning stages, it doesn't always have to follow any set pattern or rules. In fact, when a couple foregoes tradition, whether in a small way or on a grand scale, it can make for a very memorable occasion for both the couple and their guests. After all, it would be rather boring for guests to attend wedding after wedding if they all followed the identical format. A little uniqueness can make a big difference in everybody's day.

Back in the day, when I was making my wedding plans, I too was torn on a very important decision. It wasn't about my maid of honor or brides maids, but on whom I should have walk down the aisle with me. Tradition dictates that the bride's father is usually the one to hold that honor. Although I respected my father very much, I just never felt he was that instrumental in my upbringing. My mother was always the one who was there for me, through thick and thin. I had a closer bond with my mother, more than I ever did with my father. I felt it would be a dishonor to give my father the spotlight while my mother sat alone in the front pew. So, after going through much thought, I decided to throw tradition out the window. I would have both my parents walk me down the aisle. It was a decision that I will always be happy that I made.

So, being that a wedding is a very special day for two people, it only seems fitting that you surround yourself, and your day, with the people who are most important to you. That would definitely include your dearest and closest friends. Having them in your wedding party, and giving them their rightful place of honor beside you, would make that day all the more special, having them share it with you.

There are even advantages to having two maids of honor (or more). The position carries a lot of responsibilities, such as helping with the flowers, decorating the hall, hosting the bridal shower (or bachelorette party), to name a few. All the better, if those were carried out by more than just the traditional one maid of honor. Planning a wedding takes a lot of forethought, time and hard work. If there is that one extra person helping with the duties that a maid of honor must perform, there is less chance of any glitches getting in the way of having that perfect day. As well, by dividing up the duties between two or more maids of honor, it will leave them less stressed as well. They too, can enjoy the day with pride, in their combined efforts and accomplishments on making it special for the bride and groom.

One of the final duties of the maid of honor, is that she becomes a "witness" and must sign the marriage license along with the best man. This can be handled in one of two ways. It can be discussed prior to the wedding day, with the clergy or Justice of the Peace. You could either have both maids of honor sign the license (it really shouldn't make a big difference to the legal side of things) or it could previously be decided between the two maids of honor and the bride as to which one will do the actual signing. This really shouldn't present too much of a problem.

A wedding should be a happy occasion. Although it's hard to alleviate all the stress that planning a wedding entails, both bride and groom would feel so much less stressed by receiving as much assistance as they can from their friends. Lastly, this is the bride and groom's special day and they are in charge of how they want it, whether they follow tradition to the letter, or whether they add their own special touch of uniqueness.