Weight-Loss is Not a Cure for Low Self-Esteem

The sad truth is that looking good in a bikini isn't what makes one feel good about herself. Things would be much simpler if that was that case, but seldom is anything that simple. However, people suffering from the outside-looking-in syndrome have to get their foot in the door in order to come to that conclusion. The sad truth is that people who are overweight or obese in America tend to be pushed out in the cold with no choice but to look at all the thin people on the inside, thinking to themselves that things would be so different if only they were thin. It is important to realize, all those dieting, exercising, intent upon seeking weight-loss surgery, and anyone else with weight-loss in mind, that weight-loss is not a cure for low self-esteem.

The real difficulty with weight-loss is that the focus generally is exclusively on appearance, attractiveness, appeal to others, and fitting in. All of these things revolve around finding acceptance and validation from others above, and perhaps to the exclusion, of oneself. Part of having strong self-esteem and a good self-image is esteeming one's own view of oneself as a good, valuable, capable, worthy person irrespective of opinions from others that may be contrary. So, while looking good in the hot new styles or in a swimsuit is most everyone's ideal, it will merely divert attention and will not lead to the healthy feelings that people should be seeking.

In the process of losing weight, and even before and after, there are some things that may be helpful in preparing your mind for your physical change. Keep a diary of affirmations. Remind yourself of who you are and what you are about aside from your physical image. Take note and make note of your perspective and changes that may arise along the way. The idea is to maintain the person that you are at your core and to focus on the inside -- the person who exists aside from fat and skinny. Also, take pictures of yourself before the weight-loss and/or find pictures of yourself that you like and that evoke good feelings and memories. Look at the pictures from time to time. Upon reaching your weight-loss goals, display the photographs where you and others can see them. This will keep you from disconnecting from your former self. Often, when people lose weight, they may want to deny their past. This is analogous to that person outside the house coming inside but ignoring their friends who are still stuck outdoors and pretending she was never there herself. This can only lead to a worse self-esteem -- one that is based on denial and loathing. There is no shame in changing your circumstances, particularly if it leads to a healthier you, so there is no need to hide it. Finally, healthy self-esteem results from everyday occurrences that shape our concept of ourselves and the value that we bring to the world. So, relish the accomplishment that weight-loss brings, but also the other challenges that you overcome in life, and the people that stand with you as you do so.

Weight-loss itself can improve stamina, cholesterol, and blood pressure among other things but it cannot and will not improve the person that is not only captured in a body but also in thoughts, reflections, and perspectives. That person needs more than weight-loss to change.