Welcoming Baby: Five Ways to Help a New Mom

Every one of us mothers has been there. You are counting down the days until you see the face of that little miracle that has been growing inside of you for nine months. You are experiencing a million emotions, ranging from panic to pure bliss. You are likely exhausted, a little terrified, and yet oddly at peace. You are also building your "nest" while you wait, possibly feeling a bit reclusive in the process. Finding ways to help your friends and family through the arrival of their baby can be a delicate balance to strike. Many of us want to help without stepping on the toes of the new mother or invading on her last few days of preparation and life alone with her spouse. Over the years, I have found a few ways to help out without abusing my title of "Experienced Mom".

Cook and Freeze.

About a month before her due date, begin evaluating which meals you are cooking at home that can be doubled and frozen. For example, if I am preparing a home-made baked Macaroni and Cheese, I might double the recipe, pop it in a disposable pan, and wrap it up tight for the freezer. When the baby arrives, all the frozen meals can either be delivered at once (if the couple has room to store them), or delivered a few at a time at their convenience. Other meals that make great freezer meals for the new mom are lasagna, casseroles, and pot roast. Be sure to use disposable pans so that she (or her husband) wont have to do much clean up, and attach a little note-card with baking instructions. I also like to include paper plates and plastic utensils to ease the clean-up process.

Offer Laundry Service.

It is very likely that the Mother has been collecting baby items for much of her pregnancy. Before baby arrives, many moms like to wash, dry, and hang everything they have accumulated. This can be a daunting task when you are tired, achy, and overwhelmed with emotions. Offer to help her wash and prepare all those tiny cute clothes and blankets! She may not want the help, however, as some mothers like to do their "nesting" alone. Don't be offended if she doesn't want your help, as she will probably be quite glad you offered.

Household chores anyone?

Ask your loved one if there are any chores she wants done before baby arrives. There are quite possibly some things she wants done and just can't do. I remember before I had my first baby that I really, really wanted to have my windows clean prior to his arrival. Looking back, I can see that the windows could have waited, but at the time it sure felt important. It wasn't something I could do as well as I wanted to, and had someone offered I probably would have taken them up on it. Maybe your friend or relative really wants their floors sparkling clean, and just doesn't have it in them to get it done? Perhaps its her baseboards driving her crazy, or those dreaded dusty blinds. Whatever it is, offer your time to her. It probably won't take you very long, and she may just really want the company more than anything.

Bring "Girls Night Out" to her!

Several years ago, a friend of mine was pregnant with her second baby. Although not a "new" mom, she was still experiencing those familiar effects of being almost 40 weeks pregnant. I remember her longing to see friends, but not feeling up to going out, so I brought our "girl date" to her. I packed a teapot with a good pregnancy friendly tea, pretty tea cups, baked goods, fresh flowers, and a little gift for her too. I jokingly asked her what she wanted "from the outside world" and brought her the fast food taco she was craving. I set the table, poured the tea, and we gabbed for a good two hours. She had her "friend fix" and I was able to spend some quality time with her. The best part was that our children were able to run around together and keep each other entertained while we enjoyed our time. It was a win-win for us all.

Pack a Hospital Basket for Mom.

The new mom will always remember everything the baby could possibly need or want in the hospital. She may not, however, remember everything she wants or needs during her stay. When visiting a loved one in the hospital, I always try to remember to bring her three things that I was practically begging for during my hospital visit; lip balm, lotion, and breath mints. I realize this is not the fanciest collections of items, but they were all life savers for me. I had c-sections with all three of my children, and although I couldn't have the mints at first, I was so glad when I could. When you've got friends and family coming to see you and the baby, the last thing you want to think about is the fact that you can't get out of bed to freshen up and brush your teeth! I know, I know, not the nicest of details, but trust me, she'll be glad you thought of it.

Welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting event for everyone around him or her. It may also be one of the most confusing and overwhelming times for a first-time mom. Your carefully applied assistance will help her to focus on the beauty of the entire experience while allowing her to feel confident and capable in her new role.