We're Having a Baby!

The day before my wife Tanya went into labor, I went to WInn-Dixie to buy a pint of my favorite Ben & Jerry's ice cream, Phish Food, and Tanya's favorite, Wavy Gravy, and a bottle of Castor Oil. A friend of Tanya's told her that Castor Oil would help her go into labor. Since she was so close to her delivery date Tanya thought she would give it a shot. I returned from Winn-Dixie with the goodies and offered Tanya a spoonful of Castor Oil, but she was reluctant to try it. With a little encouragement from me she plugged her nose and swallowed the spoonful of Castor Oil and chased it down with her Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Later, she wanted me to take a spoonful of Castor Oil. I told her There was no way I would be willing to drink that nasty stuff. She kept teasing me, saying that she put some in my Ice Cream. Needless to say, Castor Oil works; at least it did for Tanya. At twelve thirty a.m. the following morning, Tanya woke me up and said it was time to go to the Hospital.

"Are you sure." I asked "This isn't another false alarm is it?"

"I'm positive!" she says "I just lost my mucous plug."

So we both get dressed and I'm rushing her to the Hospital when I realize I'm having really bad stomach cramps. Stomach cramp hurting so bad you would have thought I was having the baby.

"Tanya," I said, "You put Castor Oil in my ice cream didn't you?"

"No!" she says, while laughing but still in pain. "I told you I was only kidding."

"Yes you did!" I said, while keeping the steering wheel steady with my left hand and holding the right side of my stomach with my right hand. "Why would I be feeling this pain if you didn't put Castor Oil in my ice cream?"

"Stop accusing me, and stop making me laugh. Your going to cause me to have this baby in your truck!"

When we finally arrived at the Hospital I ran inside to get Tanya a wheelchair. She gets in the wheelchair & I rushed her to the nearest elevator. After arriving on the third floor, Tanya was given a room and the nurse hooked the leads of the fetal monitor, to Tanya. Just when I thought everything seemed to be going as planed, it wasn't. Tanya kept telling me she was in really bad pain and the contractions seemed to be closer together. Her face was covered with sweat, crying, curled up in the fetal position, and I could see and feel the pain she was in. Tanya had false alarms months before but she was not in the pain that was in. Before going to the nurses station , I decided to take a look at the fetal monitor to see how strong the spikes where. The fetal monitor wasn't doing anything, so I went to the nurses station.

"Ma-am," I said, as there was a crack in my voice from being nervous. "I think there's something wrong with my wife, and the monitor isn't registering anything."

"Sir," She says, while still seated in her chair and looking up at me, through the top of her glasses. "Is this your first experience with a pregnancy?"

"Yes it is, Why?"

"First time fathers ALWAYS overreact. She will be just fine. Go back to the room and I will be there shortly."

Being that it was my FIRST experience with a pregnancy, I didn't know what to say or do. I stood there starring at her, like a deer starring into the headlights of an on coming vehicle.

"Go on back sir, Ill be there shortly!"

With my tail between my legs, reluctantly, I went back to the room an told Tanya that the nurse would be coming shortly. Well, Tanya had several more contractions and started yelling at me to get the nurse. Now I'm scared & freaking out. I was freaking out, because I was thinking..........

"OH MY GOD!!!! I'm killing my wife and unborn child with CASTOR OIL!!!!"

But, I think I was more angry than scared because I ran out of the room and head straight for the nurses station looking like a bull charging a Matador. This time I wasn't so nice to the nurse and demanded that someone go check on my wife. Now, not only am I upset, but the nurse was frustrated with this so called overreacting father to be. Finally, with an attitude, she enters the room and looked over the fetal monitor.

"Oh no!" she says, as she realized her mistake. "This monitor isn't even turned on!"

The minute flipped up the on switch, the readings of Tanya's contractions spiked high. Resembling new york city skyline.

" Oh MY GOD, your going to have this baby NOW!" The nurse says as she rushes out of the room to get some more help.

I managed to say to her on her way out, "I guess I wasn't overreacting after all HUH!"

When she reenters the room there are now a total of three nurses, all of which were eager to help wheel Tanya to the delivery room. Tanya was in a lot of pain, but she managed to say,

"Call my mom and let her know I'm having the baby!"

I left her side, briefly, to call her parents and mine. Walking by the nurses desk I asked if I could use their phone.

"I'm sorry sir, this phone is only used for staff members only!"

I shook my head and thought to myself, "Damn!"

"There is a pay phone down the hall." the nurse says, as though she could see the frustration on my face.

Calling our parents, I informed them of our new addition to the family was about to arrive and ran back to the delivery room. As I entered the room, I tried to stay out of the way of the nurses. I see Tanya laying on the delivery bed still in her fetal position with one arm wrapped tightly around her stomach. She was moaning from the pain and began to yell,

"WHERE'S MY DEMEROL?" She barks to a nurse, " I WANT MY DEMEROL, DAMMIT!"

A nurse comes to her bedside and tried to calm her down.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Sonoqui," She says while holding her hand and wiping the sweat from her forehead. " But it's too close to your delivery, we can't give you the Demerol."

"Than I'm pushing!" Tanya says, "I want this baby out of me!"

"No Tanya, don't push. You need to wait for the Doctor."

Blood was running down Tanya's arm because a young inexperienced male nurse, probably right out of high school, was trying to get a blood sample. It must have been his first time since there was no blood in the little vial all he was making a mess of her arm. Not necessarily his fault since Tanya couldn't keep still. I opened my mouth, and took one step forward when I noticed all the female nurses performing their jobs like a well-choreographed dance that didn't need the distractions. And not to mention, I could see the male nurse was feeling the same fear I was feeling. Fear of uncertainty, fear of not knowing what to expect or how to react. SO I decided to keep my mouth shut and let the nurses do their job.

"Tanya," A nurse says, "Sweetheart, you need to stop yelling because your scaring the other expecting mothers."

Just then a male Doctor enters the room wearing his street clothes, medical gloves, and a surgical mask. He pulls up a stool an introduces himself.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Daniel White. Your Dr. can't make it in time for the delivery."

By now I was at my wife's bedside and every time the Doctor told her to push, she would squeeze my hand so tight, her knuckles were turning white. I could see and feel the pain she was feeling. I had realized that the stomach pains I felt earlier, were somehow coming from Tanya. While pushing she would squeeze her eyes shut, her face turned bright red, sweat was dripping down the side of her face as she was biting down on her teeth. I then realized I was also biting down on my teeth and squeezing her forearm just as tight as she was squeezing my hand. I loosened the death grip I had from her forearm an noticed I had left a red indention of my fingers. I wiped the sweat from Tanya's face, and the nurse opposite of me, asked me to help Tanya with her breathing. I just stood there starring out in to space as I remember Tanya asking if I wanted to go to Lamaze class with her....

"What do we need learn how to breath for?" I remember saying, "How hard can it be?"

I found out the hard real quick how hard it can be. I guess I sounded really nervous as I tried to breathe with Tanya. In between her pushing and breathing she kind of giggled and whispered to me not to make her laugh.

"I wasn't trying to." I said, and we continued to breath

"WHOOO, WHOOO, HEEE, WHOOO, WHOOO, HEEE!"

Finally Tanya's water breaks and squishes out all over the place, like popping a water balloon with a fork. I felt sorry for the Doctor because he got the worst of it. And just as that happened Tanya's original Doctor enters the delivery room. Then the baby came. First it's head, the shoulders, then "SWOOSH," the whole baby comes sliding out. Sliding out like a kid going down a water slide at Wild Waters and lost their swim suit on the way out. I could almost hear the baby screaming, WEEEEEE, on the way out.

"It's a beautiful baby girl!" The Doctor says.

When I looked over my shoulder the Doctor had just spanked Taylors bottom and she was screaming bloody murder. She was so angry, her little arms and legs were swinging in all directions, her face was bright red, and she was screaming so loud, I think people in the parking lot three floors down could hear her. The nurse took the baby over to a near by table and began to wipe off all the white sticky stuff that was all over her body. Since I had never seen the white sticky substance before, to me, it resembled a mixture of flour and water but a stickier substance.

"Mr. Sonoqui," A nurse says, as she looks up from cleaning off my daughter, "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?"

Without hesitating, I jumped at the chance. A chance to be apart of something that not every male has the opportunity to experience. I couldn't pass it up. She handed me a pair of medical scissors and pointed at the spot for me to cut. It felt like weird cutting the cord. Weird because it was slightly hard, but still soft and squishy. It was like something I have never felt before.

"Do you have a name for her?" The nurse asked.

With a smile on my face and joy in my heart, I said,

"Our daughters name is Taylor."

"Thats a pretty name," the nurse said.

The nurse also let me help measure, weigh, and dress Taylor so that I could take her back to Tanya. Taylor only weighed four pounds and two ounces. She quickly lost weight and we were not aloud to take her home until she reached five pounds and maintained it, so our stay at the Hospital was a little longer than planned.

When I entered the room with Taylor, Tanya looked tired and wore out. Her hair was a mess and her skin color was a pale white and matched her pillow perfectly. It was amazing to see the glow on Tanya's face when she saw Taylor and couldn't wait to hold her. I felt relieved that Taylor was finally born and proud of my wife's accomplishments. I'm sorry I missed the chance to experience the birth of my first daughter Cassandra. Tanya is pregnant again and I can't wait to experience another birth to write about.