What to Do when Your 3-Year Old Boy Wants to Wear a Dress

As a preschool teacher, every year I encounter one young boy with the desire to wear girls' clothes. One year there was the boy who wore a tutu everyday, another year the boy who wore dresses, and yet another year the boy who was obsessed with hair clips. In each situation, there were many conversations with concerned parents about their child's behavior.

Just so you know, it is completely normal for a boy to be interested in wearing girl's clothing. It doesn't mean your lovely little boy, who also enjoys other typical little boy activities is, is going to be wearing dresses for the rest of his life. It means that for some reason your little guy thinks wearing a dress, or a tutu, or pretty hair clips is cool. Remember a clothing fad you were insistent on wearing? Peg-leg jeans come to mind with me. I really thought they looked so great at the time, but you don't see me wearing them today.

I spent hours observing these young dress wearing boys and came to a couple conclusions. Their choice of clothing didn't change their personalities. While playing and learning, they were still excited about learning, activities and playing with others. They weren't ridiculed or made fun of by other students. In fact, they sometimes got more attention due to their colorful and beautiful choices in clothes. The boys were also confident. They were proud of the clothes they were wearing and proud of themselves for selecting them.

Most 3 year olds care about one thing and one thing only - making decisions for themselves. A boy who wants to explore wearing different types of clothes or wont leave the house unless he is wearing what he picked out is asserting his desire to make decisions for himself. If you restrict that freedom, he may become frustrated and rebel in different ways. By allowing a young boy to wear a dress if he wants to allows his decision making skills to be rewarded, and he will be encouraged to continue making positive choices for himself and be an individual.

It would be fantastic if it was that easy, but it's not. Many times it is the parents and other adults that seem to find fault with young boys dressing femininely. I endured many parents asking about "that little boy that is always wearing a dress." I was asked if I was going to talk to the parents about his clothing. Sometimes, the parents of the boy in question would become frustrated with their child's obsession with girl's clothing and want to discuss ways to change his dressing choices. I encouraged parents and other adults to let the child be.

Within a couple months, the boy's fascination with his dress, or tutu, or hair clips would fade. They girl's clothes would pop up again for a short visit every once in awhile, but for the most part, a new exciting thing would come along, and the clothes would change. A new hat or a special pair of shoes would replace the colorful dress. The parents would move onto another topic to be concerned with, and the boy would continue exploring, learning, and playing.

The moral of the story is that boys will be boys, 3 year olds will be 3 year olds, and parents will be parents. Instead of being so concerned about what your young one is wearing, concentrate on what he is doing. Clothes don't make the person. Encouraging a young child to make their own decisions is a great life lesson and should be a positive experience for your child. At this age, they don't understand the concept that boys shouldn't wear dresses, they only care about the fact that they love the dress and wearing it makes them happy. I say, let them be happy!