What to Do when an Adult Child is Reluctant to Move Out

Dealing with children reluctant to move out takes an enormous amount of patience and understanding. Persuading children of appropriate age to leave the home in search for independence when they're not ready can, and usually does, lead to failure.

Consequentially, the child ends up either on the street being influenced by God only knows who or what; or they end up back at home, terrified of trying again.

Many of us left our parent's home at an early age and worked our way up. However, our children are living in a different world. Thinking back on our own youth can help us realize how different things are today. Not only was the economy better, the people back then were nothing like those of today.

Any good parent wants independence for his or her children and no matter how well we go about trying to help them achieve it, there are no guarantees. Nevertheless, we must try to make sure they are ready before they venture out on their own.

A number of parents begin the process of independence at home where the child is given the full freedom of an adult which carries the usual responsibilities associated with genuine independence.

If an adult child has transportation and a job with a substantial income, he or she should practice independence by paying the required expenses such as rent, utilities, clothes, recreation and food while maintaining their transportation.

If, after a while, they spend their money unwisely and get behind on paying their way, you'll know they are not ready to be independent. The maturity and responsibilities associated with adulthood should be strictly enforced at this time; along with a commitment on the parent's part to help them achieve true independence once the adult child proves that he or she is mature and responsible enough to handle it.

However, with no job or transportation, there is no hope of independence.

If an adult child refuses to get a job, it doesn't necessarily mean they are lazy or irresponsible as there could be valid reasons. The world, especially these days, can be a very scary place. Friends, family and the church can be excellent resources for finding a job for a fearful child approaching adulthood and independence, slowly introducing them to the workplace.

As a Christian, I understand the significance of teaching children the importance of salvation through Jesus Christ and how to function in a sinful world. Once they are out of the house, I am well aware of the dangers they will be exposed to and that they will have to make their own decisions.

Our children are the legacy of our future and I am convinced that we are living in the last days. The whole world is plunging into a period like none other in history and if I don't live long enough to see it, I want my children to know what is happening.

The following link, which will open in a new window, is to a video which explains the things which will shortly come to pass. It is not a sermon. This man is a genius and considering what is happening around the world, it would be prudent to hear what he has to say; After all, it concerns the future of our children.

Regardless, dealing with children reluctant to move out is not something you want to take lightly. Make sure they are fully ready before sending them out into the world. Teach them about the "wolves in sheep's clothing" and how they can recognize them. Ultimately there will come a day when we won't be around to guide them. Now is the time to instill upon them the things we want them to know while we are still here.

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov. 22:6)