What Age is Appropriate to Get Your Child a Cell Phone?

As a mother of three children, one of which will be twelve soon, I have a strong opinion of what teens are doing these days. I believe that it is important to pay attention to these things because whatever your children's peers are doing will have an influence on your child. My latest peeve on these matters is teens with cell phones.

First we must ask ourselves why our child actually needs a cell phone. The answer would most likely be that you can communicate with your child. Of course this is a reasonable answer and I do agree there are times that I need to give our daughter our cell phone, when I do this it is only to be used in emergency.

So what age is appropriate to give a child a cell phone? Personally I don't think that they need to have one of their own at all, but I am finding that most of my daughters' friends between the ages of ten and fourteen actually have their own cell phones. This presents a problem, she then believes that she needs a cell phone and feels left out because she doesn't have one. Then, as parents we have to lovingly tell her to "get over it."

It doesn't seem to me that having a cell phone is teaching the children any kind of responsibility. It used to be that a child had to come and check in or return at a certain time. Now, they just call their parents from a block away or where ever they are and check in that way. If you're really lucky you might just get a text! In my opinion I want to see my kid, I want to see that she is where she is supposed to be.

Part of my peeve with teens and cell phones is the ads and such that target the teens. For instance, last night I saw a commercial which asked "Are you and your partner soul mates?" In this commercial they have you text in to find out if you and your partner are right for each other. Now really, how many adults would really do that? Not many that I know, but a teenager would probably do something such as this. All of the commercials for family plans have it portrayed as "cool" for teens to have cell phones.

I do understand there are many solutions to some of these issues, like getting a phone with a tracking device. Well let me just say first off, who can afford one of those. Second of all, if I tell my child to check in that means that she will come through our front door at the allotted time and let me visibly see her. Third, they know that it has a tracking device and might just leave it somewhere if they really want to be sneaky. Never underestimate your children, especially when they are approaching their teen years.

Another thing I have heard people tell me is that they simply get a certain plan where they can only call certain numbers. A child only being able to call one or two numbers does seem reasonable, but why give them a phone if they can only call one or two numbers. I'm sure that the plan for that costs money. I suppose that not owning a cell phone until my mid-twenties might have a bearing on these opinions, but really, we survived by using a land-line telephone when we were young.

One of my daughters' friends is fourteen years old; her parents recently got her a new phone to replace her "old" one. (Which was not really old.) The new phone is a fancy one with a key board and all kinds of nifty gadgets. What child really needs that?

For a simple solution to this matter we told our daughter that if she really wants a cell phone that she can purchase her own pre-paid cell phone. In the long run this will teach responsibility because she will have work for it. It takes money to pay for phone and for the minutes as well. Having your child work for their own cell phone will also instill in them a good work ethic as well. There are many things that a child can do for you, friends, or neighbors to earn money. Such as cleaning house, mowing lawns, and washing cars.

If we want our children to be responsible we need also need to demonstrate responsibility by example by not talking or texting while driving. A lot of car accidents are caused by talking on cell phones. If you are going to buy your teen who drives a cell phone, than please invest in a blue tooth or headset for them as well.

We all want our children to grow into responsible adults. Before buying your child a cell phone at a young age we should all contemplate if they need one for good reasons or is it only for them to fit in. I know as well as anyone what it is like to need to fit in with the crowd, but I also know how much not fitting in has benefitted me in the long run.