What I Am

I wake this morning the night passed quickly but there is something that makes me sick. I wake and feel the pain of a million souls eating at me again. I can feel the love, the hate the pain, and so much more it's hard to explain. I will try in some small way to let you know what I feel, but only if you try to understand. I am not here for you to understand I am here for some special someone's.

You see my friends that the place you're at and that is the only place you will ever be. I am not cold, or hard to the core. I am not your punisher in the dark. I am set in what I am and all of you are just extras in my game. I am strong and smart to no end, and I can be your friend. I am the best of everything I do and, no I am not stuck up about anything. I will show you your greatest desires all the time hiding from you the person I have killed within my heart the one that showed what I was.

I can listen and give advice and no truer advice will ever be heard. I will tell you what I think and when you hear it you will flinch. I will tell it to your heart and watch as you get a start. I will only tell you the truth unless I am playing with you at the time. I will make you squirm, and enjoy watching you get happy, mad, and then concerned. You see in my fun I will pull on your stings and watch you dance like a puppet in the show. I will take from you nothing but the information you give. I will only take from you the walls you have built to protect you.

I am strong smart and cunning, I and the one you will turn to when you crying. I will tear you apart and put you back together with what you will call heart. I will laugh when you think I have one but never admit that it's really there. You will wonder argue and fight against these things I do to you but in the end they are still done.

But when I am done playing with you and solving your problems and exciting you, ill be the one that is still undone. I will still have my problems to solve and hold them in and try not to bawl. I will still have the heart inside and still feel the love that almost died. I will still be very smart and answer your questions while screaming inside. I will be your protector at times and hope that you will be mine. A friend in need is my call and that is what I seek after all. A truer friend you will never find but I hope that is what I would call you after all.

I am strong this you will see, but somewhere deep inside me. There is a heart that needs you to and something given to. What is it my heart wants so and how can you give it if you don't know? Well I will give you this, a true friend would already know.

You must be strong cunning and fast for that door opens and closes fast. I can be hurt if you know how but I tell you it's not a good move. For every time someone walks on my heart there is a pain and hate and torture again. That is why it's locked up inside and why this world is locked out side. I will tell you there is no such thing all the time hoping you see my heart in need. And as for the ones mentioned first well there my kids and they are my world. They are the only thing left in what was an open heart. Now closed and sheltered from the world and hiding from all of you. They are there safe and sound and fiercely protected from all that hurt. They are my blood my life and my world they are all that is good in this world.