What I Am Thankful for in 2009

As I prepare for Thanksgiving 2009, I find myself looking back over the previous months and remember just how blessed my life has become.

This time last year I spent the holiday knowing I was spending a holiday with family that I knew would very possibly be the last Thanksgiving that we would be spending together for quite some time. I was preparing to move from Upper Michigan to Oregon and while I was sad about leaving all that I knew, I was also excited. Little did I know, my life would change in ways that I couldn't even begin to imagine.

This year, my family suffered the loss of one of our own. Sometimes in worst tragedies come the greatest miracles or maybe we just look harder for something good in something that feels so senseless. In my case, I choose to call it a miracle and a final gift from the Uncle that I will forever miss.

The loss of my Uncle brought my mother back into my life after more years spent apart than we have spent together. Over the past few months we have developed a relationship while not always clearly defined as to what we each are supposed to do, it's clear that we love one another and in the end we have come to understand that is all that truly matters.

While I am over two thousand miles away from my family, I still see this as holiday to stop and remember how important they are to me. As I gather with friends who have made me a part of their own family, I will take the time to remember my own family in Michigan and be grateful for each of them.

As I think of my family and the love that I feel for them and from them, I can't help but think of the other people in my life that have become so very important to me over this past years. Some very dear and loyal friends, who are always there for me and never let me down. People who have taught me the true meaning of friendship and love. I can't imagine what my life would be without them and I can't help but be thankful for each and every one of them. These people have taught me that I have the strength to stand on my own but remind me often that I am never alone as I discover who I am and where I am going.

I am deeply thankful for all the people in my life and all the love that is freely given to me but as I look around I find they all have one common tie to me in my life, each of them in their own way have shown me that I am worthy of loving and because of their belief in me, I have finally come to see for myself that I deserve to be loved not only by others but most of all by me.

Because of the love that I have been given so generously by those around me, I have learned to love myself. So, as I sit back and think about what I am most thankful for in 2009, it's hard to decide if it's the love that I have been given or the ability to finally give that love to myself. I suppose in the end it doesn't really matter as I would not want to go through life without either and knowing I will never again have to go through life feeling unloved or unlovable is truly the greatest blessing of all.

In 2009 I am most thankful for love.