What My Autistic Son Learned From My Birds

About 7 years ago, my Mom brought home some new friends in the form of 2 small Parakeets and a beautiful Cockatiel. The Parakeets were named Buddy and Brady. The Cockatiel was aptly named Sunshine because of the color of her feathers.

Many children with Autism can not cope with being around birds because of the natural unpredictability of these animals. They're "flighty" for lack of a better term. They love to fly. Their movements are erratic.

This can frighten children with Autism. But, not, apparently, all of them.

Over the last few years, my son, who is now 12, has learned to cope with these birds. It's been a gradual and ongoing process. We believe that the difference is in how close he has been forced to be to the birds now that we no longer live with my parents.

About 2 years ago, my parents moved out of state, and could not take the birds with them, due to the fact that the trip would have killed them due to the stress. So, they came to live with me, my new husband, and Matthew. When we lived with my parents, the birds were located in a variety of places, but ended up having the spare bedroom to themselves after I got married. When I brought them home with me, they ended up sharing the living room with us, as we have no spare bedroom. This situation made the acclimation easier, or harder, depending on your point of view, for Matt. Gradually, though, he has changed his reactions to their unpredictable behavior.

He can now sit on the couch and watch TV without batting much of an eyelash if we let the birds out. He talks to the littlest one, and listens while she chirps at him angrily. When our little Brady died last year, he was genuinely upset about it, but he did not have a tantrum. He was able to comfort me in my grief over the situation. Matt has even taken to letting Buddy out without my asking him to or even if I wanted him to. He only reacts if Buddy gets too close to him. She tends to bite a lot, so Matt doesn't really try to get too close to her. Except to try and get her to go back home to her cage.

Now, Sunshine, she's a totally different story. At first, Matt was genuinely leery of her. He wouldn't want to be around her too much if she was out, whether at Grandma's house or at ours. Things recently changed though. One day, he completely surprised me by going to put on his hooded sweatshirt, sitting down on the couch and asking me to put her on his shoulder. I was SHOCKED. I couldn't believe it. But, I complied with his request. They now share what Matt likes to call "Shoulder Time".

I am genuinely happy to see that Matt is no longer completely uncomfortable being around her. He will still duck if she flies too close, but otherwise, theirs is a still newly forming friendship, of sorts. He has even taken to being something of a guardian angel for Sunny and Buddy. If one of them gets into a spot where they can't down , he will come and get me. He won't try to rescue them on his own, but he knows how to ask for help. This is a wonderful skill for him to have learned. And all because Grandma bought those silly, yet loving little birds 7 years ago. Thanks Mom!

For parents considering purchasing a bird for a child with Autism, I would recommend strongly that you expose them to a bird, perhaps a friend's, before buying one. As I mentioned, many children with Autism do not like birds. Better to ere on the side of caution, as not every child will be able to handle interactions with these types of animals.