What to Do when a Boss at Work Tells You to Be More Outgoing

You think you are doing a great job at work, and one day your boss says to you, "You need to be more outgoing, friendlier." You're in shock. You thought you were doing a bang-up job. but now your confidence is eroding, you don't know exactly what he means. Do you (a) jabber non-stop, (b) ask questions until you are blue in the face, or (c) something in between?

Actually, none of the above. What your boss means is, you are not smiling enough, that's all. It's really simple. People really don't want to hear you talk more. Actually, they want to hear themselves talk more. So all you really have to do is listen! And when you become a really good listener, you suddenly become this great conversationalist that everyone wants to be around!

Here's what I mean: When you smile, you actually become more approachable, more open. People start feeling comfortable around you. You are easier to talk to. If you don't smile, others assume you are aloof or downright snobby. Ask questions. Get people talking. If you seem genuinely interested in what a customer has to say, and really listen to his/her needs, you will do a better job, and this person will seek you out the next time. I know you think this advice is obvious. But you wouldn't believe the number of people who don't follow it, and then they wonder why they are not successful on the job.

For shy people, this is no easy task, I understand. But take baby steps. You can do it! If people think you are arrogant, when all you are is shy, you need to change that perception. And it's easy. A little eye contact and a friendly wave will do the trick.

So, you want to please your boss and generally get along better at work and in life? Smile even when you don't feel like it. Don't go overboard or anything. Just smile and wave when you see people, and when they talk to you, really listen. I mean, listen. And then, when you see them the next time, ask them something about what they said before. Then they will really think, you are the most outgoing person they ever met!