What to Do About that Bug in Your Ear

Have you ever wondered what goes through a bug's mind when it decides to climb into the nice, dark, warm hole that is your ear? Who knows what bugs think; maybe they just like to torture us poor humans. If so, they deserve whatever is coming to them! Having a bug in your ear can be painful, frightening and maddening. And how in the world do you get it out? Over the past month I have had to deal with this issue twice. That's right, twice! I think the bugs are out to get me.

There I was, 0'dark thirty, in the midst of a dream involving melted chocolate and Brad Pitt, when I was rudely awakened by the sound of a giant monster trying to chew off my head. The sound was horribly loud. The feeling of movement within my ear canal was painful and weird. The thought of the bug and the inability to access it was maddening! I thought I would go insane.

I jumped out of bed, probably shouting obscenities, and began beating myself in the ear trying to dislodge the little bugger. This, as you might imagine, was unsuccessful. After a few minutes of this, I began to think of other things to do. In between the horribly loud sounds, I decided that a Q-tip was not the answer. I didn't want the thing to go farther into my ear! I couldn't think of what else to do, so I turned to the trusty internet for my answer.

After visiting several different websites, crying loudly, visiting several other sites and then banging my head on the desk, I finally decided what to do. I slowly, and carefully, poured a bit of vegetable oil into my ear while holding my head to the side. I then pulled on my ear lobe to get the oil to drain all the way into my ear canal and release any air bubbles.

Oh my goodness! That little bug went crazy. Thrashing and wiggling and making me cry as it smothered to death. Served it right. Once the bug was still and silent, I knew I had accomplished my goal. The bug was dead. Now I had a DEAD bug in my ear. Oh, boy.

After flushing my ear canal with warm water, I was pretty confident that the bug was gone. But, since I had not seen the bug come out, I ended up going to the doctor to have my ear checked. When she did not see a bug, I breathed a sigh of relief and hoped I would never have to deal with an experience like that again. After all, I had never had a bug in my ear before. So, I was sure I was safe.

But those bugs had other ideas. About three weeks later I woke up to the same horrible sounds and sensations. After jumping out of bed and hollering again, I hastened to my little bulb syringe and the bottle of oil and proceeded to smother that little guy. This time I was lucky enough to actually see the bug when it came out of my ear. So there was no need for another trip to the doctor for an ear check.

Hopefully, this will never happen to you. If it does, your best bet is to smother the bug with oil and use a bulb syringe to flush it out using warm water. If that doesn't get rid of the bug, make an appointment at the doctor's office right away. As for me, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I am never awakened that way again. And to be safe, I am wearing ear plugs to bed.