What is Character?

I've always been told you should write what you know. Strangely enough, the three things I know the most about are me, myself and I. Most of the time, people dislike the idea of writing about themselves because it requires some self examination - and that is not always pleasant.

Writing about your own life forces you to do two things - first, you have to take a good, hard look at yourself in a mirror and sort out exactly what makes you who you are. It isn't the "image" you're concerned with, but the foundation of the individual that makes you the person others see.

Then you have to be ready to deal with the image looking back at you - warts and all. That is a tall order. I mean, I'm not sure that I even relate to me. That's probably pretty bad grammar, but you get the idea.

The important thing is to check your own pulse, figuratively that is, and see where you sit in relation to those around you. We all make mistakes and we all have our faults, but how we handle those imperfections is what inevitably determines how others see us. We call that "character."

According to the dictionary definition, character is the complex of mental and ethical traits marking a person. Character transcends race, religion, political ideology, age and gender. It is built not only on how we handle our own affairs, but how we treat others.

No one is perfect, but there are some people with more overt character issues than others. For example, we all know someone who has to be the center of attention, shows no respect for others and shows compassion only when it brings them praise.

These same kinds of people often try to elicit sympathy by building on a false reputation achieved through manipulation or other subversive means. They are often at odds with family members, in power struggles at work or in their social circles and, even through all of that, are totally unaware of how their actions are affecting others.

Character is more than learning right from wrong, but having a clear understanding about the context of your words and actions. It seems like kids are no longer taught character lessons in school, which really begs the question, can good character be learned?

Many experts say yes. Entire courses of study have been developed that focus on improving one's character. One of the first tasks for students is to identify character weaknesses in themselves and address them one at a time.

Here are just a few of the hundreds of good character traits identified by one such workshop: attentiveness, benevolence, compassion, creativity, patience, decisiveness, honesty, dependability, generosity - the list goes on and on. There is just as long a list of negative traits, including selfishness, egocentricity, being manipulative or tactless, and so on.

So how do you know if you are a person of good character? Good question since we all tend to see ourselves through rose colored glasses. The only advice I have to offer is to take inventory of your own thoughts and actions. If you spend a great deal of time worrying about how someone else's problems affects you, instead of what you can do to help them that may be a good place to start.

Can we change our character once it's established? I believe so. To me, building character is learning to adjust to life's challenges in a positive manner.

We are flawed creatures, like it or not, and we always will be. We all have something in our character that can be improved, and no one will ever be perfect. But if we take the time to look inward and ask, "How can I be better," everyone around us will reap the benefits.

Gery L. Deer is a freelance columnist and business writer based in Jamestown. Read more at www.deerinheadlines.com.