What to Do when Your Child Does Not Listen & Obey

So your 4yr old daughter won't listen to you, you have to repeat yourself over & over again to the point where you are at your wits end. What do you do? Why is she like this? Will she ever listen to you without you having to scream at her?

Well, first off not to sound harsh but this is something you should have started when she was old enough to disobey such as a pulling hair, hitting & biting. This is usually around 6mts or so. Yes, you can teach a baby of 6mts not to pull hair or remove granddad's glasses. A simple NO is how you start.

As for this 4yr old you have bad habits that need broken. If you have ignored these bad habits then expect it not to end over night.

I'd start with saying "Do not tell her what to do multiple times" start with saying something like - (I'm using the example of a boy because it just isn't 4yr old girls who don't listen.)

Mom - Tommy, I want you to go clean up your room . You have 5mins to finish what you are doing then clean your room. Now what did I ask you to do?

(Wait for a response) I expected my kids a young age to to repeat it back to me.

Tommy - I have 5 more minutes then I am to clean my room.

Mom - thank you

Giving a child time to finish what they are doing shows understanding and respect. Set a timer for 5 minutes if needed. Once it beeps it is ok to remind the child what they are to do.

Mom - Tommy, your 5 minutes are up. Go clean your room now. What did I ask you to do?
Tommy - you asked me to clean my room
Mom - thank you

Walk away to show you are expecting him to obey. Wait awhile maybe 10-15 minutes then go check and make sure it is done or he is working on it. If he is not doing what you are told then a punishment is to be given.

Tommy is still playing a video game
Mom - Tommy, remember what I asked you to do? You are not obeying me. No more video games for today. (Turn it off) Go to your room now and clean it.
Stand and look at him until he moves. This can seem intimidating but it shows you mean business.
Follow him to his room and stand in the door way to make sure he starts doing what he was told to do. If he does not more punishment should follow.

Tommy flops on the bed mad because you turned off his video game.
Mom - Tommy you are to start cleaning up your room now. What am I asking you to do?
Tommy pouting - You want me to clean my room
Mom - Yes, now I expect you to start cleaning your room.
Stand at the door and wait for him to start moving. He may ask you to leave so just say
Mom - I'd like to go start supper but I can't leave your room until you start cleaning up.
Tommy - I will now go!

Mom - I'm sorry but I have to make sure you clean your room. Supper may be late but I'm not going to fix it until I know you will obey me.

If that doesn't get him moving then hand out another punishment

Mom - Well Tommy, it seems you need to learn how to help with chores around the house. After you clean your room I want you to help me clean up the livingroom.

Stick to the punishment too. He may pout, he may cry, he may try to push you out of his room but remember you are the adult and he is to learn that he needs to listen to you. If you feel it is to hard for a 4yr old to clean their room by themselves then the child may have to many toys. Ask the child to help you pack up some of the toys & donate them. Either they will clean up without a fuss or struggle with losing toys. The key is they are old enough to make a mess & they are old enough to clean it up.

Keep it up and your child should understand that you mean what you say & you expect them to obey you.

The next key is to have them repeat it because shows that they understand what you said. They cannot use the excuse "I thought you wanted me to only pick up my clothes" will not work since they were told to CLEAN THEIR ROOM.

Hope this helps. Deal with the problem now because it will get worse as the child gets older.