What to Do When Your Chlid is Out of Control

I was walking through our local super market yesterday when I had heard a high pitched from the belly yell. It was so ear piercing I wanted to run and hide as far from sound as I could. 'What on earth are they doing to that child?' I had pondered. It had not taken me long to find out the answer to that question.

"if you want cookies you will behave!" I heard an adult voice try to reason with that hideous squeal. "I am not playing with you, behave or no cookies for you!" I heard the adult voice threaten. Mind you, at this point in time, I am drawing up in my mind a picture of what is on the other side of the isle divider. I was most curious as to why this parent would be allowing such a scene to be played out in front of a crowd.

The moment drew nearer as I had to turn that corner around the isle divider, for there was something that was greatly needed from where those horrible sounds had emerged. Slowly, I pushed my cart around the corner as I take slow, deep breaths.

There was the culprit of my ear pain. 'Please don't. Please don't.' I kept mumbling to myself, in hopes that my words would some how bind that child's voice box temporarily while I was in that isle way with him. To my shock, my words held no magic, and out of his mouth came another scream. This time, I think that I may have heard the shaping of the words, 'I want it!'.

I held my breath and my tongue as I continued to do my shopping. "That is enough!" I had heard the woman say. 'Thank goodness!' I had sighed. It was about time, I had enough. I could not believe that child was able to run his own life, as well as his mothers. At what point did the child start controlling the parent? I understand that whole wave of "good parenting" allows your child to make decisions, and to tell you how they feel, however, that child had let the whole store know how they felt, and some. Eventually, out of embarrassment, the woman had told the child angrily, "If you stop I will buy you the toy". By this time, I am dreaming up this child's bedroom, and all I see is towers of no longer played with, not needed toys. One toy for every trip to any store that he had been to with the woman. I could not help but to wonder if "good parenting" skills such as this one is why I hear young adults throwing tantrums, or feeling the need to go to jail for theft over an item they had to have.

If it had been me, the first 'I want it' that came out of my mouth would have been headed off with a no. A firm, unbreakable no. I may have felt the need to push buttons and might have been brave enough to ask one more time, or to explain why I felt I needed the item. However, it would be headed off with a firm no. If I dared step out of line, I would have either gotten spanked, or sent to my room once we were home. Knowing the consequences was enough to prevent an outburst like I had heard yesterday in the grocery store. I had also known in the back of my mind that if I had chose to act up like that child had, I would have never, under any certain circumstances, had received that item that had caused me to forget my role as a person.

Think of our legal system, there are a few consequences for those of us who choose to step out of line and to not follow the rules and guidelines. If one would choose to act anything less then a model citizen, they would end up with such discipline as, possibly jail time to be served, a fine to be payed, or other options such as probation and community service.

When children have control over their parents, it is hard for me think of one good reason why they would fear being out of control. Don't get me wrong, I am not telling people to beat their children, however when you say no, you should mean it. How about a follow through with discipline rather then a hollowed threat to do so. There are several means of discipline that are non violent, yet are "firm" ways of helping your children learn self discipline. Let me ask you this, which is more important too your child's development; lack of discipline for fear of what others may think, or teaching your child self discipline.