What Can a Christian Wife Learn from a Sitcom Wife?

Flip on almost any sitcom today and you will find woman full of arrogance, pride, elevated self esteems and demanding attitudes. At every pun the audience burst into laughter as the husband she is yelling at feels humiliated, rejected and out of place. Two of the biggest sitcoms that do this are Everybody Loves Raymond and King of Queens. I have to admit, I watch these shows and have been for a few years now. The problem is, I was just married and young, so watching these shows with my husband only seemed to validate the way I was treating him. When I saw Deborah defend herself to Ray (on Everybody Loves Raymond) about the house being messy and yell at him for not helping I felt like "see I am not the only one that feels that way!" When I saw Kari flip out on Doug(King of Queens) because he wanted to be intimate at night and she didn't, I was like "BINGO!" I felt justified in all my actions because it was right there in front of me beings posed as normal and typical.

Now, I am not blaming the TV for my mistakes in my marriage, but I do want to make it known that the shows on TV that portray husband and wifes don't portray the types of marriages that will last. With divorces so prominent today, it is hard to find a good role model that will stand the test of time. As a matter of fact, if we learn anything from these sitcom wives, it should be how not to act.

Mistake # 1 She demands her own way and usually gets it

It may be comical to watch a TV wife say "this is how it's going to be and that's final" It's typical that the husband will usually try to sneak around to go against his wives wishes, but eventually he is caught and stuttering out a bunch of lies to cover his tracks. In the end he will apologizes for not obeying her command and only at this point does she bend a little.

However, when a woman starts making demands she puts her household out of order. The husband is the head of the household responsible for making the final decision in the home. This doesn't mean he's a tyrant limiting a womans value at all. It just simply is God's perfect order for the home. And by not submitting to the order, she is taking her blessings off of her marriage. It won't be long before the husband is tired of obeying his motherly wife and like a teenager decides to rebel. It destroys the husbands honor and he feels devalued.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (NIV)Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 134-7Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Mistake # 2 Using intimacy as a tool to control the marriage.

The sitcom wife wittingly rejects all suggestions of intimacy unless she wants something else. The throws down all suggestive touch and turns colder than ice once she gets into the bedroom.

Intimacy is a gift given by God to be mutually enjoyed by both the husband and the wife. This very act of rejecting our husbands has been made into popular belief that once your married the passion goes away and it's all down hill from there. What an awful label we have given marriages and ourselves by doing this in our own homes. Sexual desire for one another is very natural and healthy, but using is as a tool to get what you want perverts the whole thing. A husband wants to feel needed, appreciated and whether we acknowledge it or not, NEEDS to be fulfilled intimately too. When we pull away from intimacy, we are allowing our husbands and our selves to be subjected to the many lures of lust in the world such as pornography and adultery. Which is why God's word tells to give ourselves freely to our spouse.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Notice that BOTH the husband and the wife should not deprive one another, so it does go both ways.

Mistake # 3 Involving others in current arguments.

The scenario here is the sitcom husband and wife are having some kind of spat in front of other people, maybe the in-laws, friends other fail. They then turn to those members asking who is wrong and before you know it it's no longer between the two of the as they both divulge large quantities of details about one another to the by standers.

So what's so wrong with that? In front of others, you and you husband should be a united front. There should be a level of security in which you trust your spouse won''t go running to another person to "back them up" and splurge out details that you value as personal. To the best of your ability, most disagreements should remain private and should be resolved by the two of you working together to solve the problem. As a matter of fact, many sitcom wives are the ones not only starting and picking the argument but doing in in front of others. Our society tells us arguments are healthy, and although I agree that every couple will argue and disagree, it sure doesn't have to be the over exaggerated quarrels we see on TV.

2 Timothy 2:23 Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.

I don't think we intentionally watch TV with a mind to mimic what we see, but the truth is sometimes without realizing it, we do just that. We need to guard ourselves and our minds to make sure that what we let in our ears, minds and hearts it's contrary to the word of God. When watching a typical television sitcom next time, try to see if you can find areas where the sitcom wife is doing the opposite of what we are instructed by God to do and reaffirm in your mind the way God intends us to act.