What to Do when a Close Friendship Ends

Throughout your life, you will find that friendships come and go. Some are more fleeting than others. You may be close friends with someone you met at summer camp, yet never see that person again. The loss of a fleeting friendship won't likely bring a tear to your eye. But what do you do when a close friendship ends abruptly?

1. Realize that it happens to everyone. It can be a heart-wrenching experience, but you are not alone (no matter how alone you feel). You can find online support groups where you can learn about other teens' experiences and how they coped. If you feel comfortable, talk to your parents about it. It is likely that they went through the same experience as teenagers.

2. Do some spring cleaning. If photos and other souvenirs are painful reminders of your friendship, pack them into boxes. Don't destroy mementos of your time together. At some point in the future, when your feelings are not so raw, you may want to relive the fond memories of your shared experiences.

3. Allow yourself to cry. Don't deprive yourself the luxury of having feelings. Your feelings are valid. Expressing them will help you get through the grieving process. Don't hold back. Eventually, the tears will stop on their own.

4. Leave the doors of communication open. Don't immediately block your former friend from your email, MySpace, and AIM accounts. He or she may contact you to reconsider, apologize, or explain. If you do receive a message, carefully evaluate whether it is in your best interest to respond.

5. Respect his/her decision. Even if you feel that ending the friendship was unnecessary, accept that the other person has the right to decide whether to maintain the friendship.

6. Keep it private. You can cry on your other friends' shoulders, but intimate or personal details about your former friend should not be disclosed.

7. Start a new hobby. Remember when your friend thought that writing poetry, learning to knit, or trying out for cheerleading was uncool? Now is your chance to try something new without feeling like you are being judged.

8. Write a letter. When President Abraham Lincoln was upset with someone, he would write a long scathing letter. He never sent them. Getting all his emotions on paper was a way for him to release them. Write down your feelings as if you were writing to your former friend. Don't hold back your anger. Then destroy the letter.

9. Concentrate on school. Writing term papers can be an excellent way to take your mind off the pain. Instead of letting the situation distract you from getting good grades, throw yourself into your studies.

10. Move on. Throughout your life you will have the opportunity to form many other close friendships. Open yourself to the possibilities. Be friendly to people that you meet. Remember, just because someone decides to discontinue a friendship with you does not mean you are not valuable. Another person's decisions are not a reflection on you.