What Dads-To-Be Can Expect from the Delivery of a Baby

I have seen a lot of movies, and in each one of them, the husband is always acting like a fool while his pregnant wife is yelling like a mad woman about how she's about to pop. Let me just tell you: That is most likely not how it's going to happen. That is, unless you wait too long.

I can't stress the importance of being prepared though. The whole "heading to the hospital" idea will be much easier on the pair of you, if you are prepared before hand. I am the type of person who likes to wait til the last minute and fly by the seat of his pants, but that will definitely do you no good in this situation. So if you wait until she starts having regular contractions....you just might have your head torn off.

Please see part 1 will we talk about the emotional roller coaster. This can be avoided if taken care of. I encourage you to put everything you think you need, books (who am I kidding), portable DVD player, PSP, magazines, etc. You most likely will have a lot of dead time both before and after the delivery. I really didn't use any of that stuff because we were lucky enough to have a private room with 2 beds and 2 TV's so it wasn't Dr. Phil and Oprah all day. But in most cases, you'll be sleeping on a cot that is like a rock and your wife will have control of the TV (she did just pop a baby out...give her a couple days to control the remote).

My recommendation is as soon as your wife starts having contraction 8 minutes apart for more than one hour and the contractions are lasting a minute or more, get the car ready. She may still be an hour or two away from going to the hospital but this is when you will have the most time and she won't be in too much pain. Get your bag, her bag, baby clothes, and anything else that is listed in all the baby books. Your wife will most likely have packed her bag 2 months earlier and you guys probably picked out the outift the baby is coming home in...so really you'll just have to load the car. Let me stop here by saying, if you are at week 36 and the car seat isn't already in the car....get it in there. This will save you lots of time and arguments if you have this done. Some car seats can be tricky but if you have a newer car and a newer car seat, it can be as easy as clipping a couple of safety belts. But forgetting to do this, will mean your wife will be yelling at you that she told you that you should have put the seat in earlier! So do it early.

Once the car is loaded, get your wallet, keys, and make sure to bring a couple sweatshirts, the hospital likes to stay at a brisk 10 degrees. It is always freezing and the blankets they give you are small and thin. Now you can wait. Part of it will be to go when she wants to go but consider a few things: How much traffic there will be, How far you have to drive, how much yelling can you handle? The worse the answer to these questions are, the sooner you will want to leave. This timing is really important though because if you get to the hospital too early and your wife isn't dilated enough, they won't admit you. This means you'll have to find something to do in the meantime, which most likely means walking around the local mall. If you go too late, your wife might not be able to get an epidural, which will make both of your lives much easier.

So once you decide to head to the hospital, just remember she is not rational right now. Her body is preparing to pop out a bowling ball. I don't think you'd be in too good of a mood either. I made the mistake of trying to make a joke....that didn't go over too well. Your best bet....be reassuring, speak only when spoken too, drive fast, but safe, and don't ask her questions like "do we have everything" or "where should we park?" This is where you get to be the man and make the decisions. So do it and do it fast.

Once you get to the hospital, you will hopefully know where you are going because you should have had a hospital tour. Leave everything in the car except for your insurance information, ID, and any other information the hospital wanted you to bring. Remember, you may not be admitted yet. Take her to the nurses desk and don't act like your the only one having a baby there. You are now in the hands of professionals so let them do their job and stay out of the way. The nurses will let you know when to help out.

Many women think they want to have a natural birth. From all of the experiences I have heard, those are the craziest women. If you only do one thing, make her get an epidural. These drugs numb the woman from the waist down. Unlike my intial thought, it does not effect the mind at all so the woman will still be equally aware. In fact, she will probably be more aware because she won't be blinded by the sheer pain of labor. My wife was like Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde. On our way to the hospital she was in so much pain every 6 minutes that she just wanted me to get her to the hospital. The contractions were enough to stop her in her tracks (Another good way to tell that you should be on your way to the hospital...if she can talk through it, you are usually okay). Once the epidural drip was started, she was acting like nothing was going on...even though her contractions were getting closer and closer together. In fact, she never really felt pain, according to her it was more of a pressure during the pushes. My wife is tough, but not stupid so if you can get your wife to get an epidural...do it.

Once she gets to the point that she is starting to push, you are in the home stretch. The pushing usually doesn't last more than 2 hours. So, get yourself together and prepare to be helpful. This is where you can participate so take advantage. If you can count for her, hold a leg, or help in any other way, you'll be happy you did. One of things men are fearful of is seeing their women's "parts" in that state. I will tell you, the feeling is so surreal, that I cannot even relate what I was seeing to what I would be used to. I felt like I was watching a movie. Even to the point of cutting the umbilical cord, looking back on the experience feels like a dream. It is such an amazing experience that you'll be happy you took an integral role in the event.

The most important thing is to make sure that baby and mother are okay. If they are okay, thank your lucky stars and start to enjoy your life as a father. After all, you are now officially "Dad" for the rest of your life. There will be some changes ahead some good and some bad, but those are for future days. Just make sure you get a few pictures and some video (not of the actual birth...it's a little tacky) because you'll be happy you have those later. And the best news of all, it's only a few more weeks of the emotional roller coaster before your wife is back to normal.

To be continued....