What Do You Do when You Have Many Passions?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have had a very active imagination. I had numerous amounts of interests. I wanted to be an archeologist and dig up old Egyptian tombs. Then I wanted to study sharks and go cage diving with them. Then I thought about plus size modeling, but unless you have an agent, forget about it. Around my teen years, I wanted to get involved in graphic design, along with becoming a starving artist. Then, lying in bed one day, still a teen, I had a vision, missionary work. I didn't know what a missionary was, nor did I have any dedicated involvement with a church or affiliation to send me anywhere. Afterwards I became interested in Psychology, in order to counsel and help others.

Until this day, age 36, I have yet to find my one passion. I love horses, swimming, and so many other things in life. I want to write a book one day about my life, which in an upcoming article "Being Homeless Isn't Just for Bums" you will understand why. I am sitting on a movie script, not script written, that is about a dream I had about aliens. It is a unique dream, and I have never seen this before in a movie, but it sits in a drawer and I am not moving on it. I also have an invention, which I did manage to get one protocol made and I gave to my niece for her birthday. I did take it to a few popular invention companies, but the companies were a joke and just wanted my money.

So my blank canvas is sitting there, my sewing machine is getting rusty and my script for a movie is getting dusty, what do I do? All that is left, that touches my heart is missionary work. I have a deep desire for travel and to help others.Joyce Meyer shows videos during her partner week, and she shows the children who are in Africa and other countries all over the world that are poor. I cry every time when I see the children. It isn't because she is showing how sick or hungry they are, I cry because she is showing how much good Joyce Meyers ministry and the partners are doing for others in the U.S and overseas. It is amazing to me to see how God unites people together and to help people less fortunate. This is my heart. It may not be as exciting as shark diving, or opening another King Tut tomb, but it is helping to change lives for people that are so appreciative and in need of the help.

I feel stuck in my life at times, somewhat like a crossroad. At the age I am, I am not too old, yet not too young either. I guess that is why they call it middle aged. I am in the middle and I do not know which way to go. There are local churches I can get involved in, but I want to be passionate about what is being taught. I want to learn while I am helping. I do not want to attend a church to use them to become a missionary; I want to be a true supporter of what is being taught and be sent to help. There are some ministries like that, that are so dear to me because their teachings have influenced my life in such a way. However, none of those churches are local though. Therefore, again I am at the crossroad. I have yet to finish my degree and have no idea of what to do. Does anybody else feel this way about his or her life?

I am too old to wonder what I want to be when I grow up. I want all the above to happen. Is all this, too much to desire. Most of all I want to do requires money, time, or knowing someone who can get you in. Missionary is volunteer, but even with that, I need support to be sent somewhere, unless I have the money to pay my own way. How many dreams are cast to the waste side due to a lack of money? I will say this in closing; I continue to have faith, which having that alone can move mountains!