What Does the Bible Say About Divorce and Remarriage?

Every year around three million people suffer divorce-two million men and women, one million of their children. Some wanted the divorce, some didn't-all suffered.

Nevertheless, no one knows the number of people who were better off having divorced than continuing in what may have been an impossible marriage. Neither does anyone know how many of the marriages could have turned around had one or both parties decided to stick it out and make it get better.

The stigma of divorce isn't what it used to be. It's likely that in the past there were numerous marriages that would have and perhaps should have ended had it not been for the strong social taboo. The taboo and stigma are largely gone.

Yet, divorce still hurts the people in and around them. Many turn to the Bible to help make sense of it, to oppose it, to perhaps justify it, and often to get comfort in the midst of it. What does the Bible say about divorce? Let's look.

1. In the Old Testament Priests were prohibited from marriage to divorced women (Leviticus) Obviously divorce was allowed in Old Testament days

2. A woman who remarries after being divorced by her first husband and is then divorced by her second husband was prohibited from being re-taken by the first husband. (Deuteronomy, Jeremiah)
The principle was that the first husband was in practice marrying a woman he caused to become a prostitute

3. God practiced "divorce" when he rejected Israel because Israel prostituted itself by worshipping false gods. (Jeremiah)
However, God declared he'd take Israel back if Israel would repent and return to him.

4. Of the 13 things which God says in the Bible he hates, divorce is one of them. (Malachi)
The principle is that of not breaking faith. A marriage is a faith vow to God and to the husband and wife from each other.

5. Joseph had in mind to quietly divorce Mary (Matthew)
It seems that at the time of Christ divorce was still accepted-it seems to imply for cases of unfaithfulness. Joseph thought Mary had become pregnant by another man.

6. Jesus said that if a man divorces his wife and marries another woman he commits adultery against the first wife and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man she commits adultery against the first husband. (Matthew, Mark, Luke)
Nowhere does Jesus say "it's okay to divorce if your spouse is unfaithful. He does say that if a man divorces a woman who was unfaithful, he isn't causing her to commit adultery if she remarries. She already committed adultery.

7. Paul writes that the Lord commands that neither a man nor a woman should divorce his wife. (I Corinthians)
There's a qualifier there, Paul believed that if someone is married to an unbeliever and that unbeliever wished to divorce, then the believer is not bound to the marriage. A spouse who acts like an unbeliever is in practicality an unbeliever. If that spouse wants a divorce it should be granted.

8. Paul writes that anyone who is married should remain married, anyone who is unmarried should not seek a wife [spouse] (I Corinthians)
Paul was writing to a specific audience in a specific era, it's doubtful he meant all people of all time. Everyone is born unmarried. He's hardly commanding everyone in every era to remain unmarried.

Taken all together we can conclude that God desires everyone who marries to remain married.

However, prevention is worth an ounce of cure. Thefirst step should be taken against divorce- that is proper marriage to begin with. God's desire for a marriage to remain intact assumes the marriage began for the right reasons to begin with; mature man and woman, mature love and commitment, and authentic believers.

If one or all of those initial qualities aren't present; the marriage starts on a weak foundation. Every marriage will have difficulty. To begin one already in the hole is foolish. Marriage between unbelievers will be what it will be. Some of those last a lifetime when some Christian marriages don't. Some unbelievers can be better spouses than some Christians. All people are created in God's image and therefore everyone has resemblance to God's love, faith, commitment, and mercy. None of us have the same or the same amount of those qualities.

Divorce should be like war. It's not considered until every other option has been exhausted and then, it's undertaken only with deep regret and sadness. People, like nations, are often too quick to pick take up arms. It's not in the worse part of our nature to subdue our selfishness. It only takes one person to divorce but it takes both people to make a marriage work.

Let everyone involved do everything possible to save a marriage. Let no one condemn the ones who divorce.

God is a realist. Divorce, like war will occur. It's never desirable and it's never pleasant. In the end he'll forgive and heal those who ask- but the scars last a lifetime.