What Does it Feel Like to Give Birth Naturally?

One of the things that I am asked about most often concerning my unassisted home birth is what it feels like. Why not? Most women in the United States have never been taught the benefits of natural birth and so choose pain relief in labor. Few women have any idea what birth feels like anymore. This poses a problem for the women who have chosen to have a natural birth because they have few people to turn to for experienced advice.

Unfortunately, there is not just one experience of natural birth. It feels different for different women. Some women have completely pain-free childbirths. Some women have an easy labor, but a very painful pushing phase. Some women, like myself, find that the labor is incredibly painful, but that all pain disappears entirely once they start to push the baby out.

When women who choose to go the natural route ask me what giving birth feels like, I at first am loathe to tell them about my experience. I am always afraid of turning them off of the idea. Then I realize that it's better to be prepared than ignorant. A woman in labor who knows what to expect will be less likely to give in and ask for drugs than a woman who is experiencing pain she does not expect and is afraid.

The early hours of labor were, for me, fairly easy. I was experiencing what felt like mild menstrual cramps. My lower back was a bit sore, so doing chores around the house that allowed me to be on my hands and knees (like scrubbing the shower) felt nice and helped me to relax. I was able to eat a little, but felt a bit nauseous after eating, so all I had that day was a bowl of cereal. I napped as much as I could because I knew I would need my strength for the exhausting hours ahead.

Twelve hours into my labor, things started to really pick up. Contractions were becoming very painful. I could not sit down or put any pressure on my back or bottom. It was beyond excruciating to do so. I had to stand and lean against a wall through each one. The pain was very sharp, tight, and stabbing and was felt throughout the entire labor as a band around my lower belly and hips. It felt like a belt was being pulled painfully tight around my lower waist.

By then I could no longer watch the movie my husband had put on. It took a tremendous amount of concentration to get through each contraction and I had to have absolute silence. I moved to the bedroom so that I could lie down on the bed and have some peace and quiet.

The next several hours were a blur. I lost all track of time and all sense of self. The contractions were almost impossible to deal with. I never imagined it would hurt so much. There is a saying that women go to "labor land" while giving birth. My mind was desperately trying to escape the pain in my body.

I was very much out of it. My mind had gone somewhere far far away to try and escape my body. Any time my husband spoke to me, I had to make the long horrible journey back to my body so that I could understand what he said, then answer him, then make the long and difficult journey back to where I had been. I begged him repeatedly to not make any sounds while I gave birth.

This is one of the many problems that women in hospitals experience. The bright lights, machine sounds, strangers walking in and out of the room along with all of the talking and questions asked of the mother will distract her and make labor more stressful and more painful and can even cause labor to stall. If you are planning a natural hospital birth, you may wish to discuss this with your doctor.

When asked what one thing I would go back and change about my birth is, I always say that I would go back and exercise during my pregnancy. I was told to by various pregnancy books and by my midwives, but I never did because I was not overweight. I didn't realize that its purpose was to build stamina. No sport will ever ask for as much. I have never in my life felt such exhaustion. The exhaustion is what really got to me, far worse than the pain. Pain is only pain. It ends. Exhaustion, however, is the deciding factor in whether or not a person is physically capable of doing something.

I have seen people run races and then collapse unconscious just after passing the finish line and be taken away in an ambulance. I felt this way. I knew I couldn't do it. I was so exhausted. It was as though I had been running for twelve hours and collapsed completely unable to go any farther, but then someone hooked electrodes to my body to force me to run another nine hours, no matter how hard I tried not to.

I never realized when I hit transition. Transition is the point when a woman is almost completely dilated, just before she can begin pushing. This stage is marked by shaking, vomiting, and usually feelings of despair in the mother. It is the moment that she gives up and may cry out that she cannot do it any longer. I was desperate for the pain to end and a little out of my mind. I would have done anything to stop it.

Transition usually does not last long. Mine, however, lasted for five hours because my baby was posterior (backwards and not putting pressure on the cervix properly). I was in so much pain that vomiting actually felt good in comparison, so I prayed to throw up with each contraction. I was blacking out just a little from some of the more painful contractions.

In the hospital, women are measured and remeasured and when they reach 10 cm, a doctor will urge the mother to begin pushing. This is usually done for the benefit of the doctor who wants to be done and get home as quickly as possible. The mother is forced to push when it is not yet time and her body is not yet ready. This may not be possible for a mother to do when she is already exhausted from labor.

If you simply do nothing at all, your body will do all of the work on its own when it is physically ready to do so. You will not have to do anything. Trying to force the baby out when you are not yet ready to do so can cause a very long pushing stage which may distress the baby and end with emergency intervention or a cesarean section.

Pushing is almost exactly like having a bowel movement. It even feels the same, only much more powerful. Think of giving birth as being the same way. If you try to push out a bowel movement when you don't need to go, you are going to be pushing very hard and for a very long time. If you wait until you need to go and let your body do it, however, it will do it very quickly and entirely on its own. Birth is exactly the same way.

I was sitting on the toilet trying to let gravity help bring the baby down when my pushing stage began. I had one huge contraction that ended with my body bearing down as if to poop. It felt very relieving and I yelled excitedly that I was pushing! I went and knelt by the bed to push my baby out.

I was so delighted! Once I was pushing, all pain completely disappeared. I felt great and so energized and excited. I had a contraction about once every two minutes and my body would push along with it. It felt just like having a very large bowel movement - a huge one - after being constipated for nine months. I was laughing and talking excitedly between pushes and remarking to my husband on how I wasn't feeling any pain anymore. It felt very good - definitely an intense pleasurable feeling.

There was a tremendous amount of pressure in my bottom. The pushes were huge and powerful and impossible to stop. I just rode through them and let my body do its work. I pushed for about half an hour.

When my daughter's head crowned, I felt myself tear just a little in the front. It was only slightly painful and only for a second - no worse than getting a shot. I said "ow!" I felt what they call the "ring of fire," but it was not painful like I had imagined. It was just a little bit of stinging, almost exactly the way it feels to pour rubbing alcohol on a cut. It was nothing.

Once the head was out, I could no longer tell if the baby was still in me without looking. She was tangled in the cord and could not come out further, so I got down on one knee and reached down to untangle her. She was in up to her armpits and kicking madly inside me. I was smiling and talking to her. I couldn't feel anything. There was no pain. Once she was untangled, I reached under her armpits and pulled her out of me. My waters had never broken during the labor, so I gave a huge gasp as baby and all of the fluid came gushing out in under a second. It was the oddest sensation to suddenly deflate and lose almost one quarter of your body weight so fast!

Once the baby was out, I felt completely normal again except that I was a little sore between my legs. I sat down gingerly to look my baby over. Twenty minutes later, I felt a contraction coming, so I squatted over a bowl and let my body push the placenta out. The contraction hurt quite a bit and the placenta felt huge, but once it was out, I felt pretty much normal again. I was on a rush of adrenaline and so many other hormones which made me feel more amazing than I have ever felt in my life. Once the adrenaline wore off, I was very sleepy, so we snuggled up together in bed for a good night's sleep.