What Does Insisting on a Bachelor Party Say About a Man?

Hannah
How many men have you heard say that they only wanted a bachelor party, either because it's traditional, or because their friends expected it? Yeah, right! If you fall for those excuses you get exactly what you deserve in marrying this man.

I am a firm believer in that everything a person says and does, says something about who they are. it really would be kind of ridiculous not to agree with that. Who we are is made up of not only what we think, but how we behave, because of how we think or believe. In other words, if it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck, chances are it's a duck.

So, what about this man that insists on having the traditional bachelor party, with nude dancers and all? Is this innocent and nothing to worry about? Well, if you don't mind possibly ending up with a porn addict, cheater, sex addict or just plain male chauvinist, your okay. Am I saying that every man who has this type of party is one of these? Of course not, nothing in life is always, and definitive. However, this type of bachelor party may say a lot about him that your not looking at or considering.

Lets' start out with how he may look at women. I know you think your safe, because your a nice girl, and not like those sleazy dancers at his bachelor party, right? Wrong, how a man treats ALL women says something about what he thinks about women in general. Just because someone has a job that may not be acceptable to some people, does not make them bad, or different from you. In fact a man that separates the good girls from the bad girls so to speak, is someone to be wary of. His black and white thinking, or his Madonna and Whore mentality just may catch up with you someday. Remember, this man may be the father to your daughter someday.

When this type of man has a bachelor party, what is he saying about you, and how he sees you? I would find it quite offensive myself that a man would believe that he has to have some kind of last fling, in order to stomach the rest of his life with me. No matter how you try to manipulate it into something Innocent, it really isn't showing much respect for you, your relationship together, or your committed love. I really feel sorry for women who actually believe it means nothing when their man has a traditional bachelor party the night before their wedding service where they are committing themselves to each other before God.

Last but not least what is it saying about how he might treat you or your daughter in the future? If a man believes women are there only to please him, and that controlling women with money is okay, what type of behavior can you expect form this man toward yourself, and possibly a daughter? Never mind what this type of behavior would say to his son about women and what they are worth. Is this something you really want to deal with someday? I guess if your answer is your not worried about it, perhaps your self-esteem and concern for future children needs to be shaken up a bit, and put into perspective.

I know myself, I have heard stories of women that found out after they were married, that more went on at these bachelor parties then their intended admitted to. If you knew the truth before you said I do, would you have really gone through with your marriage? If you saw the full length video of the bachelor party, do you think you would say "I Do" or just maybe "I Don't"? The point is the so called innocent bachelor party has become a perpetuated lie for years. All I'm saying is that women do have the right to know what really goes on and make a clear honest decision from the truth. Isn't that what we truly deserve from someone who supposedly loves and respects us? I believe so!

In the end it's each women's responsibility to really know the man they are marrying. Honestly, I think most women who decide to marry men that insist on questionable bachelor parties, already do know what there getting into. That's clearly their decision. Quite frankly, In today's day and age it almost seems ridiculous for a man to have a traditional bachelor party. I would like to think we have come further than that, and have become more enlightened about what love, commitment, and relationships are all about. However, as long as life goes on, there will always be those few that hang on tightly to that which is outdated and in questionable taste!

Published by Hannah

I am a former child & family counselor, and now retired. I am proud to be a U.S Air Force Vietnam Era Veteran. I enjoy writing articles on Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and much more! I hope you...  View profile

7 Comments

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  • Hannah8/23/2009

    Johnny Yuma: You are a credit to True Manhood!

  • Johnny Yuma8/23/2009

    I never had a bachelor party--didn't need it don't--regret it.

  • Hannah8/3/2009

    J P: I see your point, however, it's the mentality toward women I worry about. Just because a guy is devoted to his friends doesn't necessarily mean he is disrespectful toward women. But when a guy goes to a strip club, or has a bachelor party, that does mean he has a low oppinion of women, NO matter what the men who do it say. It takes a certain kind of thinking to think using women like that is OK!

  • J P Whickson8/3/2009

    We've gone "slumming" (to strip clubs) and watched the groups of guys titter and giggle like little boys. I don't think most of them are there for the strippers but for the naughtiness of the whole ordeal. I would worry more about the guy being devoted to his friends.

  • Hannah8/2/2009

    Pattie: I agree, that type of antiquated thinking is really way outdated!

  • Pattie Byrd8/2/2009

    I think a lot of the antiquated "customs" should be forgotten where men and women roles are dictated. I think a get-together with friends for a "last" fun time is not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm with you that if he wants that type of party, it should ring a bell.

  • Hannah8/2/2009

    TO ALL: Just to clarify & save on some dumb comments, NO the two people I have been married to did NOT have bachelor parties, so I am not a bitter, mistrustful woman. I'm sure this will eliminate a few comments!!

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