What Does True Love Mean to You?

Turn on the radio, read a book, look in a magazine; love is saturated in these as well as so many other things. As a matter of fact, love seems to be the very basis of everything we want. But do we know what God considers love to be. Is it a feeling or an action? And why is it so easy to say "I love french fries" and so hard to say "I love you"? Why can a girl say "I love you" to her best friend, but some men wouldn't repeat that to even their own brother? Do we know what love is? Have we mastered the idea in music, poems, romance novels, and Hallmark cards? I am venturing to tell you, if you have not studied and applied the principals in 1 Corinthians 13, then you probably have the wrong ideas about love all together.

Lets look at the scriptures, starting with 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.

Love is patient

Are you a patient person? Do you find it easy to sustain your happiness when time is passing your very limits of a calm and peaceful spirit? Patient is defined in the Websters Dictionary as: :
*bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint
*manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain
*not hasty or impetuous
*steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity
*able or willing to bear

And Kind

The next thing we find out about love is it is kind. Think of a kind person. they always seem to go out of their way for others. You can't really picture a kind person enraged or acting out in selfishness. If you are willing to say someone is a kind person, they appear to you as being very tenderhearted and selfless. These are the qualities of a kind person, and of love!

Love Is Not Jealous

Have you ever been jealous? They say jealousy is the green eyed monster. Jealousy can tear apart family, friendships, and cause us to become bitter, unforgiving,ultimately leading us away from God. Ladies, jealousy isn't cute, so please stop telling your husbands that you are jealous of his job, and men, please don't tell your wives you are jealous of the time she spends with her mother. It is a statement so full of destruction. Instead, act in love to resolve these problems.

Or Boastful Or Proud Or Rude

When in an argument, I tend to make a "list" of all the wonderful deeds I have done for this person. This is wrong. I think I can truly relate to this area though as it is one of my downfalls. The good news is because I have realized it, I can now see it for what it is, and repent of it, as well as ask God to take away the pride involved in this mental list.

It is never a good idea to say things like:
"I always..." "I am always..." "after all I have done..."

These are all parts of a boastful speech. Another word for boast, is to brag. Don't you just get frustrated when anyone, whether it be your spouse, or a neighbor begins to brag about something. You want to stick you fingers in your ears because the whole time they speak they are bringing themselves up. We as Christians are told to never think of ourselves as better then anyone. We are told to be humble!

Appropriately following is the word proud. Being proud is partially defined by Websters as this : having or displaying excessive self-esteem. In love we should never place ourselves in a "throne" and think of anyone a lower then ourselves!

Which leads us beautifully into the word rude. Do you remember the show full house. Stephanie, the middle child on the TV show would always exclaim "How rude!" Whenever someone would act out in a manner that was not appropriate. When a waiter is rude, we tend to complain, when someone on the other end of the phone becomes rude, some may choose to hang up. So why would be become rude towards others ourselves, when we purposely avoid it?

Love Does Not Demand It's Own Way

The "My way or the highway!" mentality may not be such a good example of love. Although we should have proper respect for those who have authority over us; it would look wrong for a parent to say "well, I am not demanding my own way with my child because I love him" We still should see that we should also mutually submit to one another's plans. It cant always go your way. Did you ever try to make it happen like that? It seems everyone else is miserable for your happiness, but even you aren't happy because your surrounded by unhappy people.

Love Is Not Irritable

"I am hungry, tired and irritable" Both my mother and husband have said that to me, and now i find myself saying it to my children. But acting in love is not only not acting out in our irritability, but not being irritable. That takes effort. Woman, we feel that 5 days a month we are entitled to an excuse for irritability, but when we are acting in such a way, we are telling the others around us, " i can act harshly and overreact an act unjust, because I have a right to treat you like that today" Now we wouldn't come right out and say that, but thats what an irritable person does. they over react to simple common annoyances. And also , as Christians we are told to be self controlled, which goes against the very definition of irritability.

And It Keeps No Record of When It Has Been Wronged

This may be the very basis of love. At it's very core, this statement truly shows the importance of forgiveness. Keeping no record of when it has been wronged, literally means forgiving and forgetting...and NEVER having the right to bring it up again-ever! Oh, how badly I struggled with this one too. It is so easy in the heat of an argument to shout out another mental list. instead of the boastful list, this one is the "you did..." what about when you..." often following by our mental boastful list of how we forgave them for these things. But just bringing it back up clearly goes against the principal; of love and brings up the past.

It may help you to remember that we all fall short, and Jesus forgives us AS WE forgive others. If we don't want our past offenses to hold us back from Gods love, then we should not do this to others.

Now Let's look at 1 Corinthians 13:6-7
It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

It Is Never Glad About Injustice But Rejoices Whenever The Truth Wins Out

This doesn't mean if we think we are right, that we fight it to the bone and rejoice when our opponent loses. Instead this means when we act in love, we rejoice in the things that are pure, right, and just. We don't like lies or gossip, discrimination, or cruelty. We rejoice when the outcome it in favor of good, not evil.

Love Never Gives Up Loses Faith, Is Always Hopeful

Oh how many marriages could be saved if only we stopped saying "I fell out of love with him/her" Love IS NOT a special feeling of butterflies in our bellies. Remember, not only is this passage showing us what love looks like, but it's describing perfect love, which is GOD himself! And praise Hid holy name He doesn't say "I fell out of love with my people" If love lover gives up, what does that say about our nations view of love. how many people give up on their marriages, friends, coworkers, and even family! If it never loses faith, then why when someone gives up on us, can't we keep the faith and be hopeful that they will return to us! When a husband walks out on his wife, she can give up and lose faith in her marriage or she can stand for her marriage, and seek the Lords help for the restoration of it. I am not trying to be offensive to those who have been hurt already by divorce, but am speaking to those who are on the borders of it. Look at the true identity of love and you will find...love never fails (verse 9)

And Endures Through Every Circumstance

Endure: to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in. Love is not easy. It is not the beautiful picture painted in a romance novel or a catchy song. Love endures through every circumstance. If we are told this about love, then we should expect it to be, at times hard, trying, difficult, but worth staying strong for.

As you can see, the bible claims love to be an action, not a feeling, a way of life, not circumstantial, and unconditional full of forgiveness and fairness. After all these are th very qualities of our loving Lord. It is called Agape love, and being one with Christ, we have inherited his qualities. yes, we are expected to act in love daily.