What You Don't Know About Physical Punishment and Children's Discipline

Beyond a doubt, one of the most difficult but necessary skills for every parent or guardian to acquire and exercise is the knowledge of how to administer consistent effective guidance to their children. This in particular, is about how to discipline and punish their kids. The ultimate purpose thereafter is to enable the children to develop an understanding of what are considered acceptable and appropriate behavior to enhance their growth into responsible social adults. So what is the difference between discipline and punishment? And what is it that parents and guardians don't know?

Discipline is the process of teaching a child the difference acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. Responsible and mature discipline should be a positive force focusing on what a child is allowed to do. Some of the main objectives of discipline should be to instill a positive force focusing on helping a child change impulsive, random behavior into controlled and purposeful behavior. Discipline should be reinforced with teaching, firmness and reminders. Punishment, on the other hand, is only one technique of discipline. It may be physical (a spank or slap) or psychological (disapproval, isolation from others, withdrawal of privileges, and so on). But the aim of punishment is usually to curtail or prevent frequent unacceptable behavior - Questions About Kids at http://education.umn.edu.

In the United States, Researchers estimate that between seventy and ninety percent of American parents spank or slap their preschoolers. Some non-abusive parents are said to spank their children as often as 5 times per day. But the potential risk for children associated with such parenting behavior in the transition from infancy to the toddler years include an increased chance of child psychological distress, increased rates of childhood aggression, and an increased desire to defy the parents and others. See Study of Marital Relationship Factors and Individual Psychological Characteristics that Predict Physical Punishment of Children at www.fpg.unc.edu. In addition, we are being informed that frequent or severe spanking is (or may very well be) a sign that a parent needs help. Parents who harm their children physically or emotionally may have a history of abuse by their own parents and may even have little knowledge of effective alternatives. Hence, they may be facing considerably emotional pressure in the discipline of their kids because they may not have sufficient knowledge of children's normal capabilities, lose their temper easily or be impulsive. These parents, therefore, need support and encouragement from others to learn more effective discipline choices - Lesson 9: Some Thoughts About Spanking at www.k-state.edu.

But other real professional experts want us to know that not all children who experience corporal punishment turn out to be aggressive or delinquent. A variety of situational factors, such as the parent/child relationship, can moderate the effects of corporal punishment. Furthermore, we are reminded and informed by the professionals that, studying the true effects of corporal punishment requires drawing a boundary line between punishment and abuse. They say this is a difficult thing to do, especially when relying on parents self-reports of their discipline tactics and the interpretation of what is called normative punishment - Is Corporal Punishment An Effective Means Of Discipline…at www.apa.org.

Most of us really believe that reasoning is always better than punishment as a way to keep children from breaking rules. Asking a child to take "time out," to think about his or her own behavior, for example, is often helpful. But we are being informed of some example guidelines of when punishment may become unavoidable for a child. The professionals are informing us that Effective Punishment: is about the child's behavior, not about the child's character. The message here should be, "What you did was wrong," and not "You're a rotten kid." Additionally, effective punishment is: limited to a situation in which a rule was broken immediately following the breaking of the rule; is done calmly; does not include the withdrawal of love and affection; is not an assertion of a parent's power, anger or frustration; includes a penalty, a "time out" or temporary loss of privilege; does not inflict physical or emotional pain; and is brief. See Self-Discipline and Punishment at www.plannedparenthood.org.

We are also being informed to be conscious about the perspective that, a child may view punishment as an endorsement of aggression and force. They may learn that a large person has power over a smaller one. Severe punishment can arouse feelings of resentment, counter-aggression, and deep humiliation. A child may develop unfeeling attitudes towards another person's pain. And importantly, severe punishment also increases the possibility of incidents of abuse, as it becomes more difficult for a parent to judge the severity of the punishment. Intense punishment, we are advised, does not have a more lasting effect on behavior, but may in fact create a level of emotion that interferes with learning. It can even slow down a child's ability to control undesirable behaviors - Questions About Kids at http://education.umn.edu. This is said to be true whether the punishment is physical or psychological in nature. So the use of punishment can be a problem if the punishment is severe (or too harsh) if it's used regularly, and if it is the only method of discipline applied. But occasional use of mild punishment is acceptable if used in combination with positive methods such as praise or rewards for good behavior.

Therefore, we know that there are real differences between discipline and punishment. No child development professional will be totally in favor of any form of punishment. Some experts advice are that should abstain from physical punishment most of the time. But if parents do punish for disciplinary reasons, they should do so less frequently and use a combination of positive reinforcement with punishment. Most experts and parents will agree that discipline is a must for the developmental benefit of children and our general society.