What to Due when You Make More Money Then Your Husband!

Even in 2010 this is an issue that is much more likely to have a negative impact on the relationship if it is the woman who is the one who is making more money then her husband. For centuries the dynamic for the majority of marriages is that the man went out to work and earned a living and the woman stayed home and ran the house and managed the children.

During World War II when so many men left to serve their country women picked up the slack and worked the home front and many decided they liked it. Being out in the work force, making money, being seen as an individual separate from their husband and children then throw in a paycheck and for many many women you ended up with a desire to stay in the work force and stay independent and create their own destiny.

Then in the sixties a whole new era in birth control was announced. Now women had a way that was truly effective and let them take their own reproductive rights and freedoms into their own hands. The ability to make decisions about whether or not they wanted children and how many. Sex was no longer a game of Russian Roulette.

After the time in the work force and then the freedom of birth control and the stage was set for the women's movement. A you can do it all have it all mentality sank in. Women were expected to go out and earn and cook the bacon while keeping their husbands happy in beds and their kids fairly well adjusted and then there was the switch and women realized that the having it all was possible but the having it all at the same time could be pretty overwhelming and disheartening so another shift and this shift included husbands and partners. Women were no longer content to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, make sure their legs were shaved and their husbands had all of their sexual needs met while coordinating the car pool line and the birthday parties it was time for men to step up and most of them did. Today you see men sitting in car pool lanes while their wives are the ones who leave early for work. You see men on the play dates or going to the school play while the mothers and wives are closing deals in India and it is all good.

There is going to be economic disparity in marriage in fact for the majority of time there has been economic disparity in marriage the only difference now is that sometimes it is the woman who makes more money and this is OK. It is a marriage and when a marriage is healthy and works for both people money is not a taboo subject but one that is talked about openly and honestly along with a discussion about each partners strengths and the reality is that many times it is in every-ones best interests the parents and the children for mom to work full time while dad has a part time job and is the majority of the responsibility of the house. The goal is for each member of the family to be able to identify his or her strength and then bring this strength to the table and move the family forward.

I make more money then my husband, always have and most likely always will but I realize that I could not dedicate my time and energy to my job if he did not devote some of his time and energy to my life. He takes care of the house and the dogs. I love my dogs and they bring me such joy but if I had to be the one responsible for all of the feedings and the vet appointments the dogs for me would be a chore and not an enjoyment. My husband is good at taking care of the dogs. I am grateful for his skills and talent and I share with him and our friends my gratitude and this is what it really comes down to gratitude and respect. The amount of money does not matter if both people are getting what they need and both people are respected. There are times my husband wishes I made even more money but he respects my job and the fact that I try and fight the good fight for children who have no one to speak on their behalf. I have moments when I wish my husband did not own his own business and had access to health insurance benefits and real vacation but the trade off is he owns his life and he is much more pleasant then when he worked for another. So while very few things are perfect and some days are much better then other the best way to deal with an income disparity is to be honest, respect the other person and remember that true value cannot always be determined by an amount. Think of Paris Hilton being paid 200,000 dollars to host a party in Las Vegas and then think about the person who works with an autistic child who makes thirty grand a year in my personal universe I would much rather live my life with the person who gives of themselves and their gifts then one who lives on the surface and stands for what some consider the demise of our society.