What Effect Does Depression Have on a Relationship?

If you or your partner suffers from depression you may feel at times as if your relationship has a third person in it. Depression can be a silent but deadly presence in an otherwise healthy relationship. Before you can attempt to deal with the effect that depression is having on your relationship you must first understand exactly what depression is.

The Mayo Clinic says about depression,"Depression is a serious illness that causes changes in mood, thinking, physical well-being and behavior." The passage goes on to say, "Depression is caused by a complex set of physical, psychological and environmental factors."

Basically there is no definite cause for depression; there are no pat examples that define depression. It is different in every person. Some may suffer with physical aches and pains, others may retreat into a shell of isolation while others may be confrontational. Depression can cause serious changes in sleeping patterns from sleeping the day away to insomnia.

There are also several different types of depression that a person may have. This makes working on a relationship where one of the partners suffers from depression even more difficult; and we all know relationships are hard enough as it is.

If you are searching for ways to both help yourself or your partner deal with depression and improve the damage that depression has done to your relationship it is important to first obtain a diagnosis and a treatment plan. Once that is in effect each of you will be better equipped to deal with repairing your relationship.

Know that depressed people are often apathetic, miserable and at times quite hateful They have no control over these feelings and behaviors and it is important that you never tell someone suffering from depression to "just get over it". I can assure you that they would love to just get over it and be happy again. They don't want to be hurting those they love with their self centered pity party but they either don't know how to deal with the emotions or don't realize that they are a victim of depression.

Love and support can make a big difference in the way that depression affects your relationship. An understanding partner is much more likely to look over a bout of depression and moodiness than someone who has no idea why the person they love has suddenly decided to spend the day in bed crying.

Depression is a medical condition and much like any other illness it will have an effect on both members of a relationship. Communication, trust and understanding are important at all times, but even more so when one of the partners is dealing with depression and all that it can mean.

While you may not understand why your partner is feeling down on a beautiful day while you don't feel as if you have a care in the world, you can't blame them or question it because they don't know either. The chemistry of their body has informed them that today is a day to be miserable, and there's nothing they can do about it but deal with it.

Does this mean that you have to sit with them while they mope? No it doesn't. If your partner is experiencing depression more than likely they want to be left alone. But being supportive, asking if they need anything or if they want to talk is more helpful than you realize. Being a good partner is the same whether you are dealing with the flu or depression. Be considerate of their needs, tend to them if they need it, and let them rest when they want to.

Your relationship may experience some difficulties as you deal with depression, but a committed and understanding partner will be there to work through it with you. Your physician or therapist may be able to speak with both of you in order to better explain how to cope with the bouts of depression and their affect on the relationship. Take the time to make sure that you are well equipped to deal with not only physical illness with your partner but also psychological and mental illnesses as well. A partner who gives up at the first sign of difficulty is not a long term relationship partner and while this may hurt the victim of depression at first it's best that the truth is known right away.

If you are committed to making a relationship work even though one of you suffers from depression be proactive in the treatment plan, be supportive and communicate your needs so that they don't become overshadowed by the needs of the depressed partner. Each of you are equally important to the relationship and coping with one person's depression should not leave the other partner stressed and anxious or feeling neglected.

Source: Author Experience, The Mayo Clinic