What Exactly is "Family"?

The American Heritage dictionary defines family as a: fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children. Another definition states: Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place. A third definition is a group of people who live under the same roof.

Yet, there is another, and maybe even more important, definition of family. This definition includes an extended combination of external, non-related individuals or a: group of people who share common values, have long-term commitments to one another and who may reside any place in the world, who keep in contact via telephone, internet communications, written letters or by any type of media that conveys feelings, ideas, thoughts, and a personal connection.

Yes, family means many different things. The traditional family may consist of a father, mother and children, along with grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Families may consist of one parent, two parents, or even parents of the same sex. Family does not have to include just people who are related to each other by blood or marriage. Other, non-traditional families exist in almost every group. This family includes friends or anyone where a close personal and emotional connection between individuals exists.

It is expected of each of us to care for members of our families and to help provide whatever necessities are needed. Housing, food, medical care, activities, chores, teaching are all things necessary to keep a family together as a whole, and is a major and important part of being a family member. Taking care of a family member who may be ill, having emotional or financial difficulties, or needs help in some manner is part of that responsibility. This help or assistance may be something of no great importance to the world at large, but must be provided to help care for the well-being of that family member. Even doing small favors that allow the other person to focus on more important things are often all that is required.

However, are we also expected to care for those we include in our family who do not live in the same household and may reside in the next town or possibly hundreds of miles away?

Many of us have made friends through work, another family member, friends, or through the Internet. We exchange greetings, send gifts, share photographs, tell stories of what is happening at home, laugh over events that occurred to each other and cry over the terrible things that may happen in your life or the other person's family. Overall, we share our lives with people we have never met as though they were sitting across the kitchen table from ourselves. Over time, a closeness or personal attachment often develops where each person considers the other a "family member".

What you do for your family is one of the most important things in the world we live in today. Being a family member of a group of people is a fundamental part of our society. It does not matter if the person is related by blood or marriage and only through an emotional connection, but they are still considered family. If one of these external extended family members has a dilemma, we feel just as committed to helping in whatever way necessary and by the same ways or means as if they were a family member living in our home.

Help may come by providing emotional support, something as simple as composing a letter, or may even be as easy as talking to them on the telephone or on the Internet. It could include making telephone calls about a specific problem or helping them figure out what they can do to resolve a crisis. If they live close enough, help may be provided by helping with transportation to a doctor appointment or even watching their pets if they have to go out of town. In special cases, you may even take over a responsibility that requires a lifetime commitment, such as adopting their pet. You do the same things for these individuals and for the same reason you take care of your spouse, your children, or grandchildren.

A quote that I believe says it all about the nature of the makeup of our "family" today says, "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof. - RICHARD BACH, Illusions

They are your "family."