What to Expect as a Stay at Home Mom

There can be various reasons why a mother would decide to quit working and become a stay at home parent. It can be a very difficult choice to make and many things need to be considered.

I have been a stay at home mother for nearly two years now. I left my teaching career behind a year after my oldest child was born. Now, I have two young boys under my wing. The oldest is almost three and the baby will have his first birthday soon.

Actually, for me, the choice was a simple one. I hated the idea of dropping my baby off with practically a complete stranger every morning and then going off to a job where I was taking care of other people's children. Why couldn't I just take care of and educate my own kids? So, just a few months into the new school year, I resigned. I still had to finish out the rest of the school year, but a huge burden had been lifted. I would not miss out on my baby's life afterall.

Now, I am a typical stay at home mother. I am the house cook, maid, driver, disciplinarian, educator, nurse, and daycare provider (I'm sure that I left out a few jobs). I do all of this without any sort of pay or other form of compensation. Well, I guess you could count endless kisses and hugs.

I save my family money by spending less on clothing and cosmetics. My daily wardrobe consists of comfy sweats and t-shirts. I hardly ever wear socks or shoes. My makeup consists of a little bit of tinted moisturizer and some mascara. Our family also saves hundreds of dollars a week by not sending our children to a daycare facility or babysitter.

I have fewer worries about my children. Will the bully child at the sitter hit my kid today? Will he be exposed to something that we don't agree with? I am able to establish a deeper emotional connection with my children. I decide what I want my children to learn and I can teach the morals and values which are important to us. Our children get more one-on-one attention and all of their needs are met. I do not have to worry about missing any of their developmental milestones.

Honestly, the house gets a lot more attention, too. For the most part, I am able to keep up with everything. Laundry gets done in a timely manner, dishes are washed daily, floors are clean, dusting is done. Things do not get neglected like they used to when I was working.

I can make up my own schedule and get the kids on a good schedule that works for everyone. It's nice to be my own boss. I get to say, for the most part, what my day is going to be like. Our schedule is very predictable, but there is plenty of room for spontaneity.

I do, usually, have some quiet time when both children are napping. This has allowed me to take up some hobbies. I read more and have taken up some light knitting. I have also had the opportunity to find my writing passion again. This has become a much needed stress relief for me. It is a great release to get behind the computer and just write.

Don't get me wrong, there are some disadvantages to being a stay at home mother, too. I have no salary, no raises, and no sick days. So, even though I have been able to save our family a lot of money by staying home, we are still relying on a single income.

I have very little adult interaction and I can get lonely. This is a strange feeling because I have very little alone time throughout a day. I am very seldom left alone, but yet I get lonely. This comes from not having much real conversation. Not to say that my conversations about dinosaurs and potties with my two year old isn't enjoyable, it's not really what I would consider an intelligent and enlightening conversation.

I also never really leave my job. Since I am already at home, my job never goes away. I do look forward to the weekends, even though I am still at work, I have an extra hand from my husband.

If the boys do not nap, then I have no quiet time. That makes for a very long day. One to two hours of quiet "me" time is very rejuvenating and helps to prepare me for the upcoming afternoon.

In my particular case, there are more advantages than disadvantages. I love being there for my children. I love being the one who gets to take care of them and teach them. I do have times of loneliness and experience some mommy burn-out, but it's all worth it to me.