What to Expect on Groundhog Day 2011

This has been another rough winter, with the East Coast getting slammed weekly by huge snow storms, the Midwest being encased in ice, and the Deep South being treated to a White Christmas. As February dawns, we start the annual Groundhog Watch in hopes that Punxsutawney Phil won't see his shadow and drags Spring into the fray. Given the nature of this cold, cold season, that seems unlikely to happen. Rather, here is a list of what we might expect on February 2.

* The latest storm breaks for 10 minutes as Phil emerges from his den, sees his shadow, and scurries back inside.

* Phil's doorway is iced over, and he never even makes it out.

* Phil comes out in the middle of a snow storm and doesn't see his shadow. The joy is short-lived, though, as he hurries back in, slams the door, and posts a "Don Not Disturb Until Spring" sign in his window.

* Phil begs off, claiming that he's really a beaver, not a groundhog.

* Phil mails it in from Florida this year, including a picture of himself on the beach. He, of course, sees his shadow.

* After seeing his shadow, Phil announces his retirement, siting Brett Favre as his inspiration to do so. On March 21, Phil holds a press conference to tell us that he'll be back next year, but he'll now be prognosticating for Tucson, AZ.

* Phil doesn't see his shadow, and Spring comes early. Winter returns with a vengeance in April, though, and lasts through early June.

* Phil doesn't see his shadow, and Spring comes early. Then we wake up.

* Phil doesn't see his shadow, but Winter lingers for another two months anyway. We start looking for new candidates to run for Groundhog at the next general election.

* Someone realizes that Groundhog Day and the Super Bowl happen during the same week. Someone else realizes that it's always cold and wintry in the north on Groundhog Day. Yet another someone remembers that the 2012 Super Bowl will be played in Indianapolis. Suddenly, NFL players embrace a potential lockout. Their new slogan: "See you in New Orleans."