What to Expect when You Move in Together

So you and your guy have been dating for a while and seem to be spending all your time together. Now you've decided to bite the bullet and move in together. While this is an exciting time in your relationship, making the leap from "my place or yours" to "ours" can be a tad daunting and open up a whole new slew of relationship issues. How do you manage the transition? Here are five tips:

1. Divvy Up The Duties

One of my close girlfriends managed to luck into a husband who does all the cooking and cleaning. However, she did share with me recently he seems to be catching on to the fact that her sole household chore consists of paying the bills. Online. On this surface, moving in together seems like a great opportunity to dump all the chores you hate onto your boyfriend. In reality, there is a bit of compromise involved. To avoid one person getting stuck with all the cooking and cleaning, sit down together and figure out who owns what chores. For example, whoever cooks is off the hook for doing the dishes or he vacuums and you dust. Deciding up front who does what will keep you from feeling like you do everything and cut down on arguments down the road.

2. What To Take, What To Toss

This is yet another place where compromise is king. Melding your stuff with his can be a nightmare. How do you convince him to toss that hideous black leather behemoth he calls a couch in favor of your way cuter sage loveseat? First things first, figure out who's got the newer or better furniture and hang on to whatever is newer or better. If you each have rickety coffee tables, clearly this is the time to purchase a new one together. When it comes to design styles, you will have to have some hard conversations with each other. You may have to relinquish your stuffed animal collection. If you are fortunate enough to live in a house, you can relegate his prized autographed framed Michael Jordan jersey to his office or man room. However, if neither of those are options, you may have to grin and bear it, especially if it means keeping your way cuter loveseat. Either find a way to incorporate into your design scheme or compromise and hang it in the bathroom (hey if people can keep their Oscars in there, why not?) Just don't let the "stuff" turn you into Nagging Nellie. Everything is negotiable!

3. He's Not Always So Cute

It's a different world when you get into a tiff or he says or does something idiotic or you just want to be alone. Whereas before you could hide out at home and have your "me" time, when you live together, there's not a lot of places to hide, especially if you are still an apartment dweller. For those times when you just want to be alone, don't feel bad about going to see a movie by yourself on a Saturday afternoon. Even escaping to the bathroom for a nice long bubble bath or closing the bedroom door and reading a book for a little while can go a long way toward saving your sanity (and perhaps him!) Make sure to carve out time for yourself once in a while, which will make your time together that much better.

Facing Finances

This is one of the biggest issues between couples. If you haven't already, now is the time to discuss your individual financial situations. Disclose your debts, investments, spending and saving patterns etc. as hard as it may be. You don't want to discover later he hid his massive credit card debt from you or for him to find out you've been hiding a six-figure inheritance. Know what you are dealing with upfront! Another important determination is how you want to handle household expenses and purchases. One solution might be to maintain one joint account and each of you have your own accounts for your individual expenses (and debts as the case may be.) Having the money conversation can be uncomfortable, but sharing your life with each other is more than sharing toothpaste and towels.

Keep Dating!

Once you're putting your key in the same door, it can be easy to make a habit of staying in and ordering pizza on a regular basis. Keep the spark alive by keeping dates. Have date night at least once a week, but don't always rely on the same old dinner and a movie. Go bar hopping (just not the places you went to when you were 20 and had a fake ID), attend concerts or plays, check out wine tastings or sign up for salsa lessons. Don't be afraid to mix it up!