What to Expect when You Have Two Children Under Two

When we first started telling friends and family that we were expecting our second child, we got mixed responses. While the announcement drew the inevitable congratulations, we also got comments ranging from "Good luck" to "Was it planned?" You see, our second child would be due just 19 months after the joyful arrival of our first baby, a beautiful little girl. The timing of their births put us into the lucky, or alternatively, dreaded "two under two" category of parenting. If you are considering having two babies under the age of two in your household, there are some things that you can expect.

First, you will be tired - all the time - for the first four years of your children's lives. With one baby, you have the time to clean the house, do the laundry, or pay the bills while your child sleeps. When you have two babies, that luxury disappears. The adjustment is relatively shocking at first. After hearing the mantra "sleep when the baby sleeps" for the last year and a half, suddenly I had no time to sleep because at any given time one baby was always awake. Our infant son ate every two hours for the first six weeks of his life. At a year and a half, my daughter did relatively well sleeping through the night until she started teething, at which point she no longer slept through the night either. Sleep became a faint but pleasant memory.

Second, you will be spending a lot of money. Diapers, clothes, formula, and food will make up the bulk of your budget for several years. With two babies in disposable diapers, plan to spend approximately $35 a week in diapers alone if you are using premium brands like Pampers or Huggies. If you are formula feeding, a single canister of Enfamil or Similac formula is about $25. Add in the cost of clothes, baby wipes, doctor visits, and other miscellaneous items, plus the cost of daycare for two babies, and most of your (formerly discretionary) income will be spent on your two children. The additional cost of the second child was expected for my husband and I, but we also had several unexpected medical bills during the first year of my son's life that we could not have anticipated. Be certain to account for the extra costs associated with having two under two before you take the plunge.

Third, unless you have a really good babysitter, you will not be spending much time alone, out with your spouse, or at a spa. Not only will you not have any discretionary funds to do so (see above), but you will not have any time to do so. Having two children under the age of two means that you will be caring for a newborn while chasing after a rambunctious toddler. In addition, that rambunctious toddler may have mixed feelings about her new baby brother or sister. While our children got along famously for the most part, there were times when our eldest did not relish the attention being paid to her baby brother. I can remember one instance in particular when she walked up to her baby brother, who was laying in my arms breast feeding at the time, and smacked him on the head with her toy remote control. If you have two under two, be prepared because your life will change dramatically.

As enjoyable and rewarding as it is to have two babies close in age, and as blessed as my husband and I both feel about having them, neither of us could have anticipated how hard it is taking care of two children under two. We are reminded each day how special each child is and how different they are from each other, even though we call them our "twins." Now that my son is a toddler himself, they are playing together more and more, and sharing the same toys. Not coincidentally, they are fighting more. But it is so rewarding to see them hug each other at night, give kisses, and say "love du" to each other.