What Should You Do About Feral Children in Your Neighborhood?
Are feral children a problem in your neighborhood? We have at least one child that wanders around our area until dark, seemingly without parents or social skills. Some people call these kids shadows or forgotten children. Whatever the name, they tear at your heart strings while being able to frustrate you at the same time. These tips will help you maintain your humanity and your freedom when dealing with feral children.
Although it may be hard, resist judging the parents.
I know that I am not the only person who has seen a dirty little child and made a snap judgment about their parents. It is especially hard not to judge parents that you don't know and rarely see even when you regularly see their children. The parents of your local feral children might be horrible people. They could not care that their child is roaming the streets well past their bedtime. On the other hand, they could be very loving parents that are either going through a rough time or just have different values. If we are honest with ourselves, we probably all have had moments when our children were a little stinky or doing something that other parents might consider questionable.
Set clear guidelines and expectations.
Children respond well to clear guidelines and expectations. You aren't the parent of the forgotten kids, but that doesn't mean you can't act as a mentor when they are at your house. Explain that when kids are at your house or playing in your yard, they must follow the rules. Be consistent when enforcing the rules. If the shadow child doesn't follow the rules, send them home. Likewise, if your children are not following the rules make sure their have consequences as well.
Our favorite feral child used to drive us batty by repeatedly ringing our doorbell. We told him that the rule was he could only ring the bell once. He would then have to wait until we answered the door. If he did not listen, and repeatedly rang the bell, we had the same talk with him. When he only rang the bell once we showered him with positive reinforcement. It has gotten to the point where he rings the bell properly more often than not.
Give them positive attention when they are being good.
I know that it is not your job to babysit or raise the feral children of the world. I do feel that it is a social responsibility to mentor children whether they are your own or not. When you think about it, by showing your neighborhood lost child love, you are helping the world be a better place. That being said, do not burn yourself out by devoting all of your time and energy into trying to save feral children. All it takes is a little positive attention when they are being good to make a huge difference in their behavior.
Catch the local stray children being good and give them positive reinforcement. Instead of just yelling at them when they cut through your yard, holler out praise when they walk on the sidewalk. When they are playing in the yard, ask them if they would like to help bring the garbage cans up to the house. If they do help you make sure to let them know how much you appreciate it and what an excellent helper they are. Chances are these kids will soak up the positive attention and you will improve your relationship with them as a result.
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Published by Loki Morgan - Featured Contributor in Technology and Lifestyle
Loki Morgan is a Microsoft Certified Professional with over ten years experience in the Information Technology field including technical writing. Morgan has published online content with a focus on compute... View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentGreat subject. I agree that it is our responsibility to be positive mentors.
I think kids "act up" when they want or need attention. And it is wise to give them positive strokes when the behavior is good. You may very well be the child's only adult mentor.
Interesting commentary. My mother told about children starting to school who did not know their own names. They had always been just "hey, you."
Such great advice. I think we would all agree that we can sometimes be very judgemental, without even trying to make a difference. Excellent.
Outstanding article. Love the phrase "feral children."
Loki, I've never heard of feral children but now that you mention it, when I was a kid, there was another kid who never seemed to have a home to go to. My mother often fed him. cheers
Great article Loki. In some cases the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" should read as "its only the village that's raising the child".
And wow Bill..what does economics have to do with it?
Excellent Loki, this is great article. I have several feral children in my neighborhood that often drive me batty....really have to refocus and make an effort. It really does go a long way.
Low economic families. very sad.
Excellent article, with good advice. I like that you emphasize we don't have to make them our problem, but we can try to supply the positive reinforcement they aren't getting at home.